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- Guess how fast we're going now.
- I don't care, I'm having a baby!
4
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,363
Hundred and five miles an hour,
you believe that?
5
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,413
Reese, you just passed the hospital!
6
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,293
- The baby's coming, he's coming now!
- All right, all right, hold on.
7
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:28,379
- Okay, but I think he might be stuck.
- Grab onto something. Ready?
8
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,506
One, two, three!
9
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,390
It's a baby boy.
10
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,687
I'm happy that Waffle House
was okay with me coming here...
11
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,981
...to talk to y'all about
my day-to-day.
12
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,984
And, y'all, that's pretty much,
in a shell...
13
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,361
...what it's like to manage
a Waffle House.
14
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Ma'am, I don't know what else
you want me to say to them.
15
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,700
And I'm also gonna need to know
where your commode's at.
16
00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,453
Okay, let's give him a round
of applause. Thank you.
17
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,665
Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby.
Ricky, is your father here?
18
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,085
No, ma'am.
I haven't seen my daddy in years.
19
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,379
But my mama say he's out
racing cars...
20
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,924
...and, well, dipping his wick
in anything that moves.
21
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:17,470
Okay, kids, that's enough.
We're gonna move on to Brennan.
22
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,639
Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
23
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,100
Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake.
You'll be my best friend forever.
24
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,061
His job is like as a prison guard.
25
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,105
Excuse me, darling.
I'm Reese Bobby.
26
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,691
I'm here for career day
with my son, Ricky.
27
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,569
- Dad!
- Hey there, boy!
28
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,614
Man, you got big. How long's it been?
Three, four months?
29
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,741
- Ten years.
- Ten years?
30
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,077
Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
31
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,912
Mr. Bobby,
there's no smoking in here.
32
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,872
It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman.
33
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,835
Okay, I am a semi-professional
racecar driver...
34
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,671
...and an amateur tattoo artist.
35
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:56,843
And the first thing you gotta learn
if you're gonna be a racecar driver...
36
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,594
...is you don't listen to losers...
37
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:02,056
- ...like your know-it-all teacher here.
- Okay, I think that's enough.
38
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,184
Your teacher wants you to go slow,
and she's wrong...
39
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,980
...because it's the fastest who gets
paid and it's the fastest who gets laid.
40
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,485
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
41
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,196
You people are in the wrong
on this one!
42
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,614
So in the wrong!
43
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,618
This is egregious,
do you hear me? Egregious!
44
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:29,083
We were cellmates together, Andy.
You got payback coming!
45
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,670
Dad!
46
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,298
Don't listen to these people, Ricky.
You're a winner.
47
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:40,428
You got the gift. Always remember,
if you ain't first, you're last.
48
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:47,226
If you ain't first, you're last.
49
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,563
- See you when you're grown up.
- Dad! Come back, Dad!
50
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,244
It's a hot one here in Talladega...
51
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,999
...and this crowd of over 180,000
is enjoying one heck of a day.
52
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,808
Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution.
Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it.
53
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,322
All right, fellas, let's go.
54
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,075
Looking good. Yes, come on.
55
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,534
Keep it up, baby.
56
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,871
- All right, way to go.
- Go, way to go.
57
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,623
Nice jack work, Ricky.
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00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,500
Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal.
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00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,836
- Shake and Bake!
- Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go.
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00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,130
Go, baby, go.
Wait, what are you doing?
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00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,050
- I gotta take a piss.
- Go, go, go!
62
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,886
It doesn't matter, Lucius.
We're in last place. Relax.
63
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,847
Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz.
Get off my ass.
64
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,975
You see,
this is what I'm talking about.
65
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,687
That's why this group right here
is the laughingstock of NASCAR.
66
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,438
Face it, we suck.
67
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,401
It's not always bad to be in last place.
Here's some things we can focus on:
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00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,737
One, we tried hard.
And two, we're still dear friends.
69
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,239
Glenn, shut up.
70
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,033
I see Terry.
He's having a chicken sandwich.
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00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:31,038
Hey, fellas! These are really good.
You should try one.
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00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,082
That place actually makes
a nice sauce.
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00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,418
Let me eat this,
then I gotta make a phone call...
74
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,379
- ...then I'm coming back, all right?
- This is the bottom line.
75
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,548
If we don't get that car
back on the track...
76
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,259
...our sponsors are gonna
shit a chicken.
77
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:48,347
Now, is there anyone out there
who wants to go fast? Anybody?
78
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,684
I wanna go fast.
79
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,438
Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up,
make it snappy. Let's go.
80
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,940
- Hustle up, hustle up.
- Hey, man!
81
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,736
Remember when we got kicked out of
biology for playing with Matchbox cars?
82
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,321
- Yeah!
- Who's retarded now?
83
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,491
- Yeah.
- Hey, what are you doing after this?
84
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,201
- After the race?
- Yeah.
85
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,371
I don't know, but it feels like
we're wasting a lot of time.
86
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,707
No, I know, I know.
I'm just excited, man!
87
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,210
- Yeah, I know. Yeah.
- Hey! I love you!
88
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,962
- What?
- Nothing.
89
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,965
Shake and Bake! Get some!
90
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,303
You're my best friend!
You're my best friend!
91
00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,180
- Okay, then!
- I'm in there with you!
92
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,265
- I gotta get going!
- Go, go!
93
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,647
- Yeah!
- That's Ricky, baby!
94
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,066
That's my boy, Ricky!
95
00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,655
Hey, Ricky,
just remember one thing:
96
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,784
If you wreck that car,
that's 200 grand out of your pocket...
97
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,952
...so let's take it nice and slow, okay?
98
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,873
With all due respect, Lucius,
I'm gonna do some driving.
99
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,753
Excuse me, coming through.
100
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:06,050
Apparently, we've got a situation for
the Laughing Clown, number 26 car.
101
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,053
Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive.
one of his crew members...
102
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:10,471
...has taken the wheel.
103
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:13,933
Hey, just wanted to share a little piece
of personal information with you.
104
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,351
I got a chubby right now...
105
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,521
...because this is one of the most
awesome experiences of my life...
106
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,356
...because I'm getting to
drive a racecar!
107
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,234
I can't believe it! Oh, my God!
108
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,711
Wow, that was cool.
109
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,797
Come on, come on.
110
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,473
The big story from Talladega:
111
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,018
Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby
places third in the Dennit machine.
112
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,564
Ricky, first of all,
where did you learn to drive like that?
113
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,734
In a car.
Car handle really good. Yeah.
114
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,695
Can you speak up, Ricky?
115
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,738
A car.
It handled real good.
116
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,241
So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit?
He sure can drive.
117
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,911
He's got guts.
Dennit Racing needs a racer like him.
118
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,872
Come on, Dad.
He's just a stupid cowboy.
119
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,665
Look how bad he is
in that interview.
120
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,502
Junior, driving has got nothing
to do with interviews.
121
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,755
I just wish to hell you had
a little more stupid cowboy in you.
122
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:30,426
I felt like I was on a spaceship and...
123
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,137
I'm not sure
what to do with my hands.
124
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,222
Be good to hold them down
by your side.
125
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:39,602
We're really happy
with what was going on.
126
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:44,481
And at the end of the day, you know,
you gotta be happy.
127
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:48,777
- What did you say his name was again?
- His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby.
128
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,488
Ricky Bobby?
He's got two first names.
129
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,657
Whatever his name is,
let's get him over here.
130
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,035
Everything ended up fine.
131
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,372
Yeah, okay, everything was fine.
Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car.
132
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,958
Ricky Bobby, a force to be
reckoned with, possibly...
133
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,543
...in the near future.
134
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,754
Ricky Bobby with yet another
impressive win.
135
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,631
He is dominating NASCAR.
136
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,383
First or last, baby, you know it!
137
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,553
I've never seen a driver who
wants to win more than this guy.
138
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,056
I could get used to
this winning thing!
139
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:35,908
Dennit Racing Incorporated
has decided to field an additional car.
140
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,994
And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby...
141
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:43,249
...who's been like a son to me,
only better...
142
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,919
...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr.
as the driver.
143
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,589
All right.
144
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,424
- Cal Naughton.
- Hey...
145
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,261
...we just want to say to all
you other drivers out there...
146
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,472
...if you smell a delicious,
crispy smell after the race...
147
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,850
...it's not your tailpipe,
it's a little bit...
148
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,435
...of shake...
149
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,021
And then bake.
150
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,648
Shake and Bake!
151
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,276
- That's our nickname.
- Get used to hearing it.
152
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,319
And Ricky Bobby wins...
153
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,905
...with Cal Naughton Jr.
finishing second.
154
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,325
- Yeah!
- Hey, man!
155
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,786
- Shake...
- And bake!
156
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,541
Hey, driver! Drive these.
157
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,379
Please be 18.
158
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,851
You want to make this out
to Charlotte?
159
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,477
Hey, excuse me, Ricky.
160
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,521
- Hey, Dale.
- Hey, can I get your autograph?
161
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,858
- Sure. Who do I make this out to?
- It's for me. I think you're awesome.
162
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,569
- Don't tell the other drivers.
- I'm not gonna tell anyone.
163
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,070
I'll see you out there.
164
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,239
Absolutely, ma'am,
I'd love to sign your baby.
165
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,408
You're not gonna wanna wash
that forehead.
166
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:03,412
- That's right, Powerade's number one.
- Not just for hydration, for vitamin.
167
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,081
No, it's me,
it's me, Susan, your assistant.
168
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,250
Gotta watch it when I get into
autograph mode.
169
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,337
I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault,
I shouldn't have been standing.
170
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,131
I'm Ricky Bobby.
Christmas is right around the corner...
171
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,342
...and what better gift
to give a loved one...
172
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,093
...than the Jackhawk 9000?
173
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,678
Available at Wal-Mart.
174
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,264
When you work on
your mysterious lady-part stuff...
175
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,934
...you should have the right tools too.
So that's why you should use...
176
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,936
...Maypax, the official tampon
of NASCAR.
177
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:30,939
I'm Ricky Bobby.
178
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,276
If you don't chew Big Red,
then f*** you.
179
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:39,948
Prune candy.
180
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,619
- You happy?
- I'm very happy.
181
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,163
- Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
- And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
182
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,749
Urging you never to travel
to Tijuana.
183
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,667
Ricky! Ricky! Ricky!
184
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,961
Okay, I'm starting to get sick.
185
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,882
Dick Berggren in Las Vegas,
Victory Lane, for Fox Television.
186
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,968
Ricky Bobby, today's big winner.
Heck of a win for you today...
187
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,181
...but it seems as if you either win
or crash the car trying to win.
188
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,476
Well, Dick, here's the deal.
I'm the best there is, plain and simple.
189
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,104
I mean, I wake up in the morning
and I piss excellence.
190
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,231
And nobody can hang with my stuff.
191
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,651
You know, I'm just a big, hairy,
American winning machine.
192
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,737
If you ain't first, you're last.
You know what I'm talking about?
193
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,197
That phrase is trademarked...
194
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,908
...not to be used without permission
of Ricky Bobby Inc.
195
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,585
Supper's ready! Come on, y'all!
I've been slaving over this for hours!
196
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,631
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
197
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,176
...or as our brothers
to the south call you, Jesús...
198
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:47,391
...we thank you so much for this
bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC...
199
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,644
...and the always delicious Taco Bell.
200
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,605
I just want to take time to say
thank you for my family...
201
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,192
...my two beautiful, beautiful,
handsome, striking sons...
202
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,862
...Walker and Texas Ranger...
203
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,072
...or T. R., as we call him...
204
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,033
...and of course,
my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...
205
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,035
...who is a stone-cold fox.
206
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,873
Who if you were to rate her ass
on 100, it would easily be a 94.
207
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,418
Also wanna thank you for
my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr...
208
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,420
...who's got my back
no matter what.
209
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,714
Shake and Bake.
210
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,009
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also
thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
211
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,386
We hope that you can use
your baby Jesus powers...
212
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,347
...to heal him and his horrible leg.
213
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,185
And it smells terrible and
the dogs are always bothering with it.
214
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,061
Dear tiny infant Jesus, we--
215
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,022
Hey, you know, sweetie...
216
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,399
...Jesus did grow up.
217
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,401
You don't always have to
call him "baby."
218
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,403
It's odd and off-putting
to pray to a baby.
219
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,448
Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best
and I'm saying grace.
220
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:47,326
When you say grace, say it to
grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus...
221
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,036
...bearded Jesus,
whoever you want.
222
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,454
You know what I want?
223
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:55,209
I want you to do this grace good,
so that God will let us win tomorrow.
224
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,169
Dear tiny Jesus...
225
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:02,174
...in your golden-fleece diapers, with
your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...
226
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,927
- ...pawing at the air...
- He was a man. He had a beard.
227
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,596
Look, I like the baby version the best,
do you hear me?
228
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,556
I win the races and I get the money.
229
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,268
Ricky, finish the damn grace.
230
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,230
I like to picture Jesus
in a tuxedo T-shirt...
231
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,107
...because it says, like,
"I wanna be formal...
232
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,026
- Right.
- ... but I'm here to party too."
233
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,612
Because I like to party,
so I like my Jesus to party.
234
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,324
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja
fighting off evil samurai.
235
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,453
I like to think of Jesus,
like, with giant eagle's wings.
236
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,706
And singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
237
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,500
...with, like, a angel band.
238
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,628
And I'm in the front row,
and I'm hammered drunk.
239
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,463
Hey, Cal?
Why don't you just shut up?
240
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,757
- Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.
241
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:49,304
Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce,
newborn infant Jesus...
242
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,598
...don't even know a word yet...
243
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:55,769
...just a little infant and so cuddly,
but still omnipotent...
244
00:14:55,937 --> 00:15:00,566
...we just thank you for all the races
I've won and the 21 .2 million dollars--
245
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,319
Love that money!
246
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,989
That I have accrued
over this past season.
247
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,283
Also, due to a binding
endorsement contract...
248
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,994
...that stipulates I mention
Powerade at each grace...
249
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,413
...I just wanna say that
Powerade is delicious...
250
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,790
...and it cools you off
on a hot summer day.
251
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:22,671
And we look forward to Powerade's
release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
252
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,216
Thank you for all your power
and your grace, dear baby God. Amen.
253
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,634
- Amen.
- Amen.
254
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,052
Let's dig in!
255
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,264
That was a hell of a grace, man.
You nailed that like a split hog!
256
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,224
I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good.
257
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,143
Dad, you made that grace your bitch.
258
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,520
Hey, boys, I wanna see
some napkins in the lap.
259
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,188
Boys, how was school today?
260
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,567
I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's
war medals off the bridge.
261
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,029
Sounds like a good day.
Texas Ranger, how about you?
262
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,449
Well, the teacher asked me what
was the capital of North Carolina.
263
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,534
I said, "Washington, D.C."
264
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,702
- Bingo.
- Nice.
265
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:58,040
She said, "No, you're wrong."
I said, "You got a lumpy butt."
266
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,376
She got mad at me and yelled at me
and I pissed in my pants.
267
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,379
And I never did change
my pee pants all day.
268
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,715
I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants.
269
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:10,177
I wet my bed until I was 19.
There's no shame in that.
270
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:14,806
I get emotional because
you guys are working so hard.
271
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,976
I'm just so proud of you.
You remind me of me...
272
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,811
...precocious and full of wonderment.
273
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,897
Tell you what, Ricky,
you are truly blessed.
274
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,399
- These two are two in a million.
- I am.
275
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,526
Just like Carley's tatas.
276
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,987
You won't find another rack like that,
I guarantee.
277
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,864
Thank you, Cal.
278
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,491
That's real sweet of you, Cal.
279
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,619
That's real nice. That's one of
the nicest things you've ever said.
280
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,288
- Well, I mean it.
- Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
281
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,207
It comes from my heart, that's why.
282
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,584
I can't hold my tongue.
283
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,004
These kids are my grandchildren,
and you are raising them wrong.
284
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,422
They are terrible boys.
285
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,258
Shut up, Chip,
or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
286
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,011
I'm gonna scissor-kick you
in the back of the head.
287
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,097
- Yeah!
- Yeah. Turn up the heat.
288
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,890
Go on and get some, boys.
289
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,393
I'm 10 years old,
but I'll beat your ass.
290
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,104
Chip, I'm gonna come at you
like a spider monkey.
291
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,022
Like a spider monkey! Go on.
292
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,357
Chip, you brought this on.
293
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,442
The greatest generation, my ass.
294
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,194
Tom Brokaw is a punk.
295
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,404
What is wrong with you?
296
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,823
Chip, I'm all jacked up
on Mountain Dew.
297
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,741
I love that.
298
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:18,412
You gonna let your sons talk to their
grandfather like that? I'm their elder.
299
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,623
I sure as hell am, Chip.
I love the way they're talking to you.
300
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,459
They're winners.
Winners get to do what they want.
301
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,169
Hell, you're just a bag of bones.
302
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:29,131
Only thing you ever done with your life
is make a hot daughter.
303
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,299
That's it. That is it!
304
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,759
We wanted us some wussies...
305
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,679
...we would've named them Dr. Quinn
and Medicine Woman, okay?
306
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,973
I work too hard for your bull, Chip.
307
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,975
Come here.
You make me hot. Come here.
308
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,352
Everyone just keep eating.
309
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,147
- It's on.
- Come here. Come here.
310
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,984
All right.
311
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,653
I'll hold your hair.
312
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,500
- Hey, Stephen.
- Hey, Ricky.
313
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,627
Got those two tickets
for my special friend?
314
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:11,548
Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky.
Got them right here, buddy.
315
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,842
Great. Hey,
how's your mama's hip?
316
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,136
She's gonna be all right,
thank you for asking.
317
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,346
- Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today.
- Thanks.
318
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,974
That's the saddest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
319
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:23,894
That boy leaves two tickets
for his daddy at every race...
320
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,353
...and he never shows up.
321
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,314
That's a shame.
322
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,609
The human heart is such a mystery.
323
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,029
- Let's sell these bitches, huh?
- Hell, yeah.
324
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,032
- Beer money, huh?
- There you go. Yes.
325
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,744
As the laps wind down,
Jamie McMurray is the leader.
326
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:43,997
Cal Naughton in second.
Ricky Bobby in third.
327
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,750
What's up, Cal? You ready
for a little Shake-and-Bake-age?
328
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,753
- Hey, buddy.
- Naughton Jr. is letting Ricky Bobby...
329
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,548
...draft up to him to make
that slingshot move past McMurray.
330
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,259
Can you believe that he would do that
for his teammate?
331
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,094
Set him up that way?
332
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,264
Slingshot, engage.
333
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,352
And there goes Ricky Bobby
on the outside!
334
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,728
That's how we do it.
335
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,356
Makes his move.
Naughton's giving him plenty of room.
336
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,150
What in the hell is he doing, guys?
Get him off of me.
337
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,569
They touch! They spin!
338
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,822
Snap!
339
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,783
Come on, man!
340
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,872
See you, wouldn't wanna be you.
341
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:40,095
Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna
try to win the race in reverse.
342
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,013
Man, he wants this win bad!
343
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,892
Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse!
344
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,936
Unbelievable!
I love that! That is cool!
345
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:53,066
Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's
something to pick your spirits up.
346
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,902
It's real nice.
I got it at Target. It's on sale.
347
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,118
Yeah!
348
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,168
- That's it. Another one. Another one.
- All right, man. We did it!
349
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,881
I don't wanna be raining on
your parade, but I gotta tell you...
350
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:20,135
...that was some of the dumbest
driving I have ever seen in my life.
351
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,220
- Thank you.
- And I know you won the race...
352
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,972
...but you're not gonna live forever.
353
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,975
I'm not stupid, Lucius.
No one lives forever. No one.
354
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:31,438
But with advances in modern science
and my high level of income...
355
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:35,025
...I mean, it's not crazy to think
I can't live to be 245, maybe 300.
356
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,737
I just read in the newspaper they
put a pig heart in some Russian guy.
357
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,197
Know what--? I mean,
do you know what that means?
358
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,992
No, I don't know what that means.
I guess, longer life.
359
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,036
- Well, no, he didn't live.
- He didn't live?
360
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,872
No. It's just exciting
that we're trying things like that.
361
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,750
- Ricky?
- Hey, Mr. Dennit.
362
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,002
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
363
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,504
- She already wasted?
- Celebrating.
364
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,924
She's celebrating.
You feel pretty good today, huh?
365
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,092
Look, Ricky,
early word out of NASCAR...
366
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,012
...is your little obscene gesture's
gonna cost you 100 points.
367
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,640
You know how much that costs us
in sponsorship dollars?
368
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,558
With all due respect, Mr. Dennit...
369
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:13,730
...I had no idea you had experimental
surgery to have your balls removed.
370
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,941
What did you say?
What was that?
371
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,984
Well, what?
I said, "With all due respect."
372
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,820
That doesn't mean you get to say
whatever you wanna say to me.
373
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,656
- It sure as heck does.
- No, it doesn't.
374
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,658
It's in the Geneva Convention.
Look it up.
375
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,993
I remember your daddy
used to love it.
376
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:31,873
- This is not my dad-- This is my team--
- Used to love it when I used to win.
377
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,459
Now, I suggest you and your wife,
Mrs. Jim Beam...
378
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,795
...you guys go take a chill pill.
Enjoy the win!
379
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,713
- Come on, man!
- Yeah, Ricky. Okay.
380
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,632
Baby, photo op, photo op.
Come on.
381
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,550
Come on, number one.
382
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,387
Hold my hand, baby.
383
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:56,523
I'll tell you what, though, guys,
that was a hell of a race today.
384
00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:59,609
- Shake and Bake in full effect.
- It's always been like that.
385
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,405
Me and Ricky,
since we were little kids, man.
386
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,866
We go together like Chinese food
and chocolate pudding. Let's face it.
387
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,744
Yeah, but those are two things
that don't really go together.
388
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,372
We go together
like cocaine and waffles.
389
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,291
No, like, for instance,
if I say peanut butter and...
390
00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,836
- Ladies, right?
- Yep.
391
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,212
- No, jelly.
- Am I right?
392
00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,631
- Jelly?
- You like to put jelly on a lady?
393
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,509
I'm gonna settle this thing.
Let's just get ourselves...
394
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:28,763
...a whole mess of cocktails,
get drunk and work this thing out.
395
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,598
- Work this thing out.
- That's right.
396
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:35,270
So I was talking to Nana on Saturday,
and her birthday's coming up...
397
00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,856
...but I don't know what to get her.
She's gonna be 88.
398
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,774
Get her a coffin.
399
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:49,451
Hey, Cal, I'm sorry
about wrecking you today.
400
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:53,496
- I mean, but that was for the team.
- No, that's cool. That's cool, I know.
401
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,207
I was thinking, though, one time...
402
00:22:56,375 --> 00:23:01,004
...it would be really awesome if, like,
you could slingshot me in for a win.
403
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:03,798
Yeah, but-- Okay, but if you won...
404
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,301
- ...how am I gonna win?
- Yeah.
405
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:09,095
- Think about it.
- No, I was thinking about it.
406
00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,347
I mean, it's not like
you're finishing 18th.
407
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,642
- There's nothing wrong with silver.
- Nothing wrong with silver at all.
408
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,103
I'm just kidding you, man.
I don't wanna win.
409
00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,899
I'll just bury it down inside.
410
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,818
Bury it deep down in there,
and never bring it up again.
411
00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:26,196
It's painful, and I love you!
412
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,239
Get her a gigolo.
413
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:31,117
- What?
- A guy to have sex with her.
414
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,203
No, she's gonna be 88 and...
415
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,997
You don't stop liking sex
when you're old.
416
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,585
Well, I was thinking
more along the line of...
417
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:45,173
- Like, she likes afghans and quilts.
- She's probably got a million of those.
418
00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:48,593
How many dudes does she have
coming over to have sex with her?
419
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,846
- None.
- Exactly.
420
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,140
Be thoughtful, Glenn.
421
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,018
Don't stop.
422
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:04,943
What is that?
423
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,529
Someone made a tape of
something dying or something.
424
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,697
Hey, turn that crap off.
What's going on?
425
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,825
I want this music out of my head.
426
00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,493
Hey, turn that off!
427
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,995
Turn that off right now!
428
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,212
Why did you stop the jazz music?
429
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,216
Was it not pleasant for you?
430
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:31,261
No one plays jazz here
at The Pit Stop, okay?
431
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,013
So why is the song on the jukebox?
432
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:37,350
We keep it on there
for profiling purposes.
433
00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,645
We also got
the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.
434
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,274
My name is Jean Girard...
435
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:48,069
...and I am a racing-car driver
just like you...
436
00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:51,281
...except I am from Formula Un.
437
00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:55,869
I am the greatest one
in the whole world.
438
00:24:56,036 --> 00:25:01,583
I have been following your career
with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
439
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,169
I can't understand a word
you've said the whole time.
440
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:06,171
Did you eat peanut butter
or something?
441
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,340
You sound like a dog with peanut
butter on the roof of your mouth.
442
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:13,094
I think what you are hearing
is my accent.
443
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,847
I am French.
444
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,640
You say you're French?
445
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,644
We? No, we are not French.
446
00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,939
We're American,
because you're in America, okay?
447
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,691
Greatest country on the planet.
448
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,693
Well, what have you
given the world...
449
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:33,031
...apart from George Bush, Cheerios,
and the ThighMaster?
450
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,116
- Chinese food?
- Chinese food.
451
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:36,534
That's from China.
452
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,870
- Pizza.
- Italy.
453
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,623
- Chimichanga.
- Mexican.
454
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,375
Really, smarty-pants?
What did French land give us?
455
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,796
We invented democracy,
existentialism...
456
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,173
...and the blowjob.
457
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,301
- Those are three pretty good things.
- Hey.
458
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:55,053
Well, that last one's pretty cool.
459
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:59,974
You know, the 69 with
the head near the-- That bit.
460
00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:01,351
We came up with it.
461
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,978
We created the missionary position.
462
00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:07,815
- You're welcome.
- Ricky Bobby...
463
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:11,027
...I have come here to defeat you.
464
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:14,030
Oh, well, there's strikes two and three
right there.
465
00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:16,282
Did you hear what he just said?
466
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,786
Well, welcome to America, amigo.
467
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,835
You are fast, Ricky Bobby...
468
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,255
...but I am faster.
469
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:34,175
All right, you let go of me,
you Formula One jazz nutjob!
470
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,886
Like the frightened baby chipmunk...
471
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:39,889
...you are scared by anything
that is different.
472
00:26:40,057 --> 00:26:42,392
I will let you go, Ricky...
473
00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:46,854
...but first I want you to say:
474
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:51,776
"I love crêpes."
475
00:26:52,403 --> 00:26:55,446
Don't you say it, Ricky.
These colors don't run.
476
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,282
- I'm not gonna say it.
- Good.
477
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,659
Hey, look, Frenchy,
I thought about it.
478
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,078
So why don't you go ahead
and break my arm?
479
00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:05,373
I do not want to break your arm,
Monsieur Bobby...
480
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,166
...but I am a man of my word.
481
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:09,419
Here's the deal.
He's not gonna break it...
482
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,046
...because I'm gonna slip
out of it right now. Houdini.
483
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:13,506
Get down, you little pancake.
484
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,258
Someone get me a beer
while I'm here.
485
00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,677
But you have forced me to do this.
486
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:20,596
You are now mocking me
and making me look ridiculous.
487
00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:22,432
Just say, "I love crêpes."
488
00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:26,561
You know, just to put this in there, I had
a whole mess of crêpes this morning.
489
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,521
They're like pancakes,
maybe even better.
490
00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:31,441
- Are they the really thin pancakes?
- Yeah.
491
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:34,652
They are the really thin pancakes.
It's just a French word for them.
492
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,363
- My God, I love those.
- Put any syrups you want on them.
493
00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:40,408
- I'm saying, think about it.
- They come with cheese sometimes?
494
00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,327
Yes, of course,
a fromage-crêpe.
495
00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:44,579
Well, why didn't someone
yell that right away?
496
00:27:44,747 --> 00:27:46,414
You know what's in
the crêpe suzette?
497
00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,708
- Oh, I love the crêpe suzette.
- With the sugar...
498
00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,586
- ...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier.
- Sugar and lemon juice.
499
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:54,172
I wish I could crawl into
one of those right now.
500
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:58,051
- I'd eat my way out from the inside.
- They are tasty.
501
00:27:58,218 --> 00:28:00,762
Either way this goes, could we
get some after we're done?
502
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,598
- Absolutely. We're gonna do that.
- So, what if you just said:
503
00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:08,061
"I love really thin pancakes"?
That is a fair compromise, no?
504
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:10,396
- That is a fair compromise.
- Very fair, actually.
505
00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:13,274
No! Because then everyone
would know I really meant crêpes.
506
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,026
That's a pretty good compromise.
507
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,112
Why do you want me
to break your arm so badly?
508
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,449
You don't understand
because you don't understand liberty.
509
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,451
You don't understand freedom.
510
00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:27,372
So you put a crack in my arm
like the crack in the Liberty Bell.
511
00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:30,625
Hey. This is just
between you and me, okay?
512
00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:32,960
I mean, forget all these other guys.
513
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,922
But he did give you a pretty
decent out. But it's your call.
514
00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:37,799
What do you think?
515
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:40,385
- Don't say it.
- Yeah. I'm not gonna say it.
516
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,053
Break it, Pepé Le Pew.
517
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:43,679
As you wish.
518
00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:51,020
- He actually did it!
- All right. You did it. Back off.
519
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,064
- I didn't say it!
- No, you did not.
520
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:56,651
Your injury is one
of ignorance and pride.
521
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,489
Hold it right there,
Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner.
522
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:03,116
You just broke my bro's arm.
523
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:04,909
Now you're about to get Tasered.
524
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,038
- Say hello to Dr. Watts.
- Get him, Cal.
525
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,334
I need you all to step away...
526
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:14,877
...from my driver.
527
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:18,005
The hell you talking about, "my driver"?
What are you doing with a gun?
528
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,716
Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky.
529
00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,845
Jean Girard is my new boy at
Dennit Racing. He's here to win us...
530
00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,764
...an overall-points championship,
something you apparently...
531
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,517
...have no interest in.
He's gonna usher in a new era.
532
00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,436
Mr. Dennit, with all due respect--
533
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,896
And remember,
I'm saying, "with all due respect."
534
00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:38,443
that idea ain't worth a velvet painting
of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.
535
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,863
That's good. That's good fun.
That's good fun, Ricky...
536
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,991
...but that doesn't bother me anymore
because Jean is the future...
537
00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:46,576
...Ricky, the past.
538
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,995
So, Jean, introduce me
to your new teammates.
539
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:53,833
Everybody,
this is my husband, Gregory.
540
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,501
What?
541
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:58,254
See you at the track.
542
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,339
Did he just say "husband"?
543
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:04,969
Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay
Frenchman as your teammate.
544
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,472
The room's starting to spin real fast.
545
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,058
Because of gayness.
546
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:16,063
- Cal, I love you.
- Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God!
547
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:30,036
Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking
about this new driver, Jean Girard.
548
00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:33,706
Let's find out a little bit more about him
from our reporter, Davey Wesling.
549
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:37,627
Talented. Eccentric. Dominating.
550
00:30:37,794 --> 00:30:41,172
These are the words
that define Jean Girard.
551
00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:46,260
Before each race, Jean Girard spends
time with his world-class horses...
552
00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:48,513
...who are also gay.
553
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,182
Jean's days are filled
with sun-drenched walks...
554
00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,601
...with his beloved husband, Gregory.
555
00:30:54,561 --> 00:30:57,271
Though Gregory is
no stay-at-home spouse.
556
00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,441
He's a world-class trainer
of German shepherds.
557
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:02,902
Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend.
Up on top!
558
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,365
Very nice. Very nice.
559
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:11,702
Only time will tell if Jean's foray
into NASCAR...
560
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,955
...will end up in Victory Lane.
561
00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:36,852
Well, kiss my ass on Sunday.
562
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,022
- Lucius, what the hell is going on?
- The man can drive.
563
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:42,066
And check out his crew chief
over there.
564
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,485
Won the Nobel Prize
for physics back in '93.
565
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:47,655
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is a new track record.
566
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:51,450
As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting
on the pole, which is, of course...
567
00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,869
...a statement of fact
and in no way a comment...
568
00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:55,913
...on the driver's sexual orientation.
569
00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:58,874
Put a smile on your face?
That's the future of Dennit Racing.
570
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:01,460
- That make you happy?
- I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit.
571
00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,754
I love seeing some French guy
break my record...
572
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,799
...while I got my arm wrapped up
like a fricking gordita.
573
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,551
Hello, Ricky Bobby.
574
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:13,973
What happened last week was
very regrettable and unfortunate...
575
00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:17,810
...and, as a gesture, I would like to...
576
00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,437
...sign your cast, please.
577
00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:22,273
Hell, you know what,
get my car off the trailer, guys.
578
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,108
Baby! That's my baby!
579
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,486
Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick.
What are you talking about?
580
00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:31,282
Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine.
So let's get the car off the trailer.
581
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,576
Don't look at me.
Get it off the trailer!
582
00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:37,997
Even with a healthy arm, you don't
have a chance against Jean Girard.
583
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:41,000
All right, fellas. You heard the man.
Get the car off. Let's go.
584
00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:42,543
You guys heard it.
585
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:46,380
- What's going on?
- Soon you will know what it is like...
586
00:32:46,548 --> 00:32:51,177
...to be defeated by the hands of
somebody who is truly better than you.
587
00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:56,766
As William Blake wrote,
"The cut worm forgives the plow."
588
00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,852
Well, let me just quote the late,
great Colonel Sanders...
589
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,606
...who said,
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
590
00:33:03,774 --> 00:33:05,691
What's that got to do with this?
591
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:09,570
I got a message for all of them.
Ready? Shake and Bake!
592
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:13,199
What does that do? Does that
blow your mind? That just happened!
593
00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:16,702
What is that, a catch phrase
or is that epilepsy?
594
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,413
- Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake.
- What?
595
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:24,335
Listen, you better be careful because
tomorrow you're going to get beaten.
596
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,629
Beaten real bad, cowboy.
597
00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:28,214
- Really?
- Yes!
598
00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:30,549
- I don't want to know.
- That's news to me.
599
00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:34,011
- Tomorrow you'll be in trouble.
- I'll rip you a new one.
600
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:37,473
There's going to be a croissant
I'm going to take away.
601
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:38,891
I play for keeps!
602
00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:42,186
I give you one option,
Monsieur Bobby.
603
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:45,564
As a sign of humility,
if you kiss me on the lips now...
604
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:49,360
...I will return to Paris and you will
never see me again in NASCAR.
605
00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,945
The answer is never!
606
00:33:51,113 --> 00:33:53,823
- I close my--
- Do you hear me? Never ever!
607
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,742
- Well, yes or no?
- That's sick.
608
00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:02,498
Let me tell you, hold on.
Shake and Bake.
609
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:03,958
Yeah!
610
00:34:04,126 --> 00:34:05,960
What does that mean?
It makes no sense!
611
00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:07,920
This "Shake and Bake,"
it's nonsense.
612
00:34:08,088 --> 00:34:11,424
- Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth.
- Thanks, darling.
613
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:14,635
Cal, you could say that 10,000 times
and it still wouldn't be enough.
614
00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:17,054
- It fires me up.
- I love it. Say it one more time.
615
00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,223
- Shake and Bake!
- Doesn't that feel good?
616
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:23,477
Yeah! It rhymes,
they're both verbs. It's awesome.
617
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:49,003
NASCAR on Fox welcomes you
to Lowe's Motor Speedway...
618
00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:51,714
...where tonight we'll go 500 miles.
619
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:56,177
The big stories tonight
are at both ends of the grid.
620
00:34:56,344 --> 00:35:00,723
Up front, Larry, the surprising French
Formula One driver, Jean Girard.
621
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:05,102
And at the opposite end of the grid,
Darrell, Ricky Bobby.
622
00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:08,439
I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking
around with a cast on his arm.
623
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,525
Now, I don't know who he conned
into letting him start this race.
624
00:35:11,693 --> 00:35:13,527
Just keep a camera on him
all night long.
625
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,530
I am so excited.
626
00:35:16,698 --> 00:35:19,366
This is a new era
for Dennit Racing, huh?
627
00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:24,413
So serious all the time
about your big race team.
628
00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:28,167
- Who cares?
- But this is my life. This is my life.
629
00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:31,879
You know what? There's only one
good thing about coming to the races...
630
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:35,883
...and that is
the vibrations from the cars.
631
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:39,929
Oh, I love when them cars whiz by.
632
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,724
Can feel the motor...
633
00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:46,143
...running up my legs.
634
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:51,190
Ricky Bobby, who never met
a sponsor he wouldn't push...
635
00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:53,400
...has a Fig Newton sticker
on his windshield.
636
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:55,402
Think NASCAR will
black-flag him for that.
637
00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:56,987
He sold the windshield!
638
00:35:57,155 --> 00:36:00,908
This sticker is dangerous and
inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons.
639
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:04,495
Ricky Bobby started this race
in the back...
640
00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:07,081
...but he's making no friends
on the way to the front.
641
00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:10,918
I'm all about getting to the front tonight,
Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it!
642
00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:13,003
Well, he's driving
like a man possessed.
643
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,007
I'm not even sure he realizes how
much damage he's doing to his car.
644
00:36:19,636 --> 00:36:24,223
Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving
like a pissed-off teenager, okay?
645
00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:26,100
Where is that Frenchy?
646
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:32,314
I got you, Pepé Le Bitch.
647
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:35,734
Oh, Ricky Bobby.
648
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,488
Hey, it's me, America.
649
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,119
Yeah, I'm here.
650
00:36:45,287 --> 00:36:47,788
You have spilled my macchiato.
651
00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:50,791
Look at Girard in the 55.
652
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:54,837
He's made that car three lanes wide,
but he's still fast.
653
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:58,799
No, no, no, my friend.
This way also closed. Not this way.
654
00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,511
Lucius, what's he doing?
He's everywhere at once.
655
00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:05,139
Guy's dangerous, Ricky.
He's like a cobra. Back off!
656
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:07,349
Where's Cal?
I need a little support here!
657
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:11,103
Tell Ricky I'm on my way.
658
00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:18,235
Damn it!
659
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,154
Hey, Ricky, listen.
660
00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:26,243
Cal blew out his engine.
You have no backup. Back off!
661
00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:29,663
I ain't backing off.
I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is.
662
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:32,583
He's too good, Ricky. Lay off!
663
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:35,461
Bobby's boxed in.
There's nowhere to go there.
664
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:41,425
He's gonna try the outside move
again. I don't know if it's gonna work.
665
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:43,260
Come on, Daddy!
666
00:37:43,428 --> 00:37:45,137
Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt!
667
00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:47,932
Send that weird man
back to Indonesia.
668
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:53,646
- Come on!
- Bobby moves to the outside.
669
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,481
Not a lot of room. He's in the wall!
670
00:37:55,649 --> 00:37:57,900
Bobby is sliding,
slamming into the wall.
671
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:05,866
He's airborne!
672
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,371
Yep. I'm flying through the air.
This is not good.
673
00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:13,248
- Ricky!
- Cool!
674
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,134
Ricky!
675
00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:32,643
Peaches and cream!
676
00:38:36,106 --> 00:38:38,732
The car comes to rest
in a big cloud of smoke.
677
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,818
Ricky Bobby appears to be okay...
678
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:43,404
...but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
679
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,322
Fantastic.
680
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:48,158
Oh, my God! Ricky!
681
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:51,578
Hakuna matata, bitches.
682
00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:00,963
It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck.
Ricky can handle it.
683
00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:04,466
Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks
you'll ever see.
684
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,844
Oh, no, no, no.
685
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:09,013
It's all right. You're safe.
686
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,140
- You're safe.
- We got you. We're here.
687
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,725
I'm on fire.
688
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:15,144
It's all right.
It's all right, you're not on fire!
689
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:19,106
- You're lying! I'm on fire!
- There is no fire.
690
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,900
- I'm on fire. I don't wanna die.
- Come back here.
691
00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:25,738
But something looks wrong. I mean,
he's running around like he's on fire.
692
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:29,616
Oh, my God! Help me!
I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll!
693
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:33,245
- You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby!
- I'm on fire!
694
00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:34,913
You're not on fire.
695
00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:38,292
But I'm not even sure he even knows
where he's at right now.
696
00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:43,422
This makes us all realize the kind
of pressure these drivers are under.
697
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,090
Mr. Bobby, come on down here.
698
00:39:45,258 --> 00:39:48,927
Help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jewish God!
699
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,512
Help me, Allah!
700
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:53,348
Help me, Tom Cruise!
701
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:56,143
But how did he get down
to his underwear that fast?
702
00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:59,521
Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me
to get the fire off me!
703
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:01,106
Look. Here, help's coming.
704
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,025
- Wait a minute!
- It's Cal Naughton.
705
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:07,571
Oh, God! Please don't let
the invisible fire burn my friend!
706
00:40:08,615 --> 00:40:12,117
I got you!
I got you, man! I'll help you!
707
00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,996
He's jumping on Ricky, trying
to put the nonexistent fire out.
708
00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:17,790
Now, that's a teammate right there.
709
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,500
This is going downhill fast.
710
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:22,628
It would be a great time
to go to commercial break.
711
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,922
Help me, Oprah Winfrey!
712
00:40:26,508 --> 00:40:30,719
You know, Larry, there's good days
in racing, and there's bad days.
713
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:34,181
Ricky Bobby just had himself
a bad day.
714
00:40:42,482 --> 00:40:44,149
He's suffering from catatonic shock.
715
00:40:44,317 --> 00:40:47,903
His injuries are minor, but right now he
can't deal with the trauma of the wreck.
716
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:51,198
Golly, this is a hard decision.
717
00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:56,286
But I have thought about it,
and I want the plug pulled.
718
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,871
Yeah.
719
00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:00,332
Ma'am, your husband's not dying.
720
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,835
He's just taking a nap.
721
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:05,212
- Just look at him.
- No, I'm not lying.
722
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,714
I've never seen him
make that noise. Ever.
723
00:41:09,050 --> 00:41:11,343
Got more plugs in him
than a Circuit City.
724
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:16,181
Oh, baby.
Mama loves you so much.
725
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:20,561
Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal.
726
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:25,065
Just want you to know,
I got your back, bro. No matter what.
727
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,402
There's something
I want to get off my chest...
728
00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:32,447
...and it's about that summer when
you went away to community college.
729
00:41:32,615 --> 00:41:36,201
I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine...
730
00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:38,871
...and I did it.
731
00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:42,249
I did a full spread
for Playgirl magazine.
732
00:41:42,876 --> 00:41:46,753
I mean spread, man.
I pulled my butt apart and stuff...
733
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:51,175
...and I was totally nude,
and it was weird.
734
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,093
You probably didn't hear about it...
735
00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:55,637
...because I went under the name
of Mike Honcho.
736
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:57,556
But I just wanted you to know that.
737
00:41:57,724 --> 00:42:01,560
If you could hear me,
if it got into your brain somehow...
738
00:42:01,728 --> 00:42:03,937
...that I spread my butt cheeks
as Mike Honcho.
739
00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:06,982
"Are you there, God?
It's me, Margaret.
740
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:11,111
Gretchen, my friend, got her period.
I'm so jealous, God.
741
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:14,239
I hate myself for being so jealous,
but I am.
742
00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:16,617
I wish you'd help me just a little.
743
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:21,288
Nancy's sure she's going to
get it soon too. And if I'm last..."
744
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:24,625
Hey, Ricky. Ricky!
745
00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:26,793
Come on, man, wake up.
746
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,754
Are you faking it?
747
00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:35,385
Are you faking it? Fake it!
748
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:43,560
I don't know how much longer
I can take seeing you like this.
749
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:48,106
I am not gonna let you die here...
750
00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:50,192
...like some kind of vegetable.
751
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,778
I'm gonna put an end to this
right now.
752
00:42:52,946 --> 00:42:54,655
Get all this crap off you.
753
00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:56,907
You don't need any of this crap.
754
00:42:59,702 --> 00:43:02,246
This is it. This is how it ends.
755
00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,997
This is how Shake and Bake ends.
756
00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:06,833
It's shadow time, buddy.
757
00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,922
It's time to go home to Jesus.
758
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,508
Goodbye, buddy.
759
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,514
Oh, wow, you definitely--
760
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:23,141
You definitely
still got some fight in you.
761
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,729
Okay, maybe we give this
another day.
762
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,608
Middle. I'll go up to the middle.
Let's play some defense!
763
00:43:33,486 --> 00:43:36,571
I just wanna say thanks, doc,
for taking care of our boy here.
764
00:43:36,739 --> 00:43:39,908
- Oh, shit.
- That's a foul! That's a foul!
765
00:43:40,076 --> 00:43:41,493
Doc, give it to me straight.
766
00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,996
Is he ever gonna be able
to walk again?
767
00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:47,040
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone
had told you. He's fine.
768
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,959
He found that wheelchair
in the hallway.
769
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:52,045
His paralysis is
entirely psychosomatic.
770
00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:55,882
But we all need to go along with this,
because he's in a delicate state.
771
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:59,594
So when you say psychosomatic,
you mean, like...
772
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:02,222
...he could start a fire
with his thoughts?
773
00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:04,391
No, not at all.
It means it's all in his mind.
774
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:08,270
I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock
on the head, you get special powers.
775
00:44:08,438 --> 00:44:10,897
It happens all the time.
Read a comic book, okay?
776
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:12,524
Everyone's real friendly.
777
00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:15,736
It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
778
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:17,571
So how's the physical therapy going?
779
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:20,615
Oh, I gave that up.
Yeah, I gave that up...
780
00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:23,910
...after maybe the first day.
Within the first hour, I gave that up.
781
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:26,121
I'm through lying to myself,
you know?
782
00:44:26,289 --> 00:44:29,750
It's time to be mature about this
and just face facts.
783
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,419
I bought myself
a hundred-thousand-dollar...
784
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:33,920
...handicap-accessible van...
785
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:37,841
...with the captain's chairs and the DVD
plasma screens in the back for the kids.
786
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:40,552
- You all paid up on that?
- Yeah. That's all paid in full.
787
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:43,722
It's parked out there.
And then the next thing I gotta do...
788
00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:47,851
...is I just gotta have a sit-down
with Carley and just let her know...
789
00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:54,024
...that it's okay for her to seek
the comfort of other men.
790
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,278
Because she's gotta run wild. You
can't keep something like that back.
791
00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,946
Hold on, man. Hold...
792
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:02,324
- We gotta tell him.
- Now?
793
00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:05,285
No, I don't care what the doctor said,
we gotta tell him now.
794
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:07,079
Ricky, the doctor told us...
795
00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:10,040
...that we should let you work it out
in your own sweet time...
796
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:11,583
...but, Ricky, you can walk.
797
00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:13,460
What did you just say?
798
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:16,797
He's telling you the truth, man.
It's all in your head.
799
00:45:19,467 --> 00:45:22,552
You sick sons of bitches!
800
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,554
I mean, you walk in that door...
801
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:28,141
...on your two legs,
all fat and cocky...
802
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,896
...and looking at me in my chair,
and you tell me it's all in my head?
803
00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:35,065
I hope that both of you have sons.
804
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:40,237
Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons
who are talented and star athletes...
805
00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,280
...and they have their legs
taken away!
806
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,408
I pray you know
that pain and that hurt.
807
00:45:44,617 --> 00:45:46,910
Don't you put that evil on me,
Ricky Bobby!
808
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:51,498
Don't you put that on us!
You are not paralyzed!
809
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:53,417
I am so paralyzed!
810
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:57,045
- No, no, no! No, he needs to know!
- Getting a little rough on him.
811
00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,673
- He's always crying!
- Tough love, it is. Tough love.
812
00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:02,509
- Wake up, idiot!
- You wanna know what I am?!
813
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:05,178
You wanna see what my life is?!
814
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:06,596
Don't do it.
815
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:10,976
- You wanna see what's going on here?
- Don't you stick that knife in your leg.
816
00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:22,028
- Man!
- Hold on, hold on.
817
00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:25,532
- Hold on, now. Walk it off.
- Oh, that hurts.
818
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,033
- Oh, my--!
- Walk it off.
819
00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:29,035
Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out.
820
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:31,705
Hey, man.
You can walk! You can walk!
821
00:46:31,873 --> 00:46:33,457
I can walk!
822
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,543
- I think I touched a nerve.
- Right there.
823
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:39,463
All right, we got it, we got it.
Hold it right there.
824
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:40,964
Maybe don't touch it.
825
00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:43,049
- Can you feel it?
- I can!
826
00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:45,635
We'll use this knife to pry it out.
We'll pull it out.
827
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:48,388
- Now we got two in there.
- Just don't think about it.
828
00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:50,891
- We're going down a bad path.
- Cut around the meat.
829
00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,767
I'll cut right here.
Stretch it out.
830
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:55,228
Just take out a plug of meat.
Just like a deer.
831
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:58,190
We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it.
Can you feel that?
832
00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,192
- Yeah, I feel that.
- You are back!
833
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,985
I love you guys!
834
00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:06,281
Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean,
I hope your boys don't lose their legs.
835
00:47:06,449 --> 00:47:09,743
- Thanks, buddy.
- So when do I get to drive again?
836
00:47:09,911 --> 00:47:12,954
Well, that's the thing. The doctor
said you suffered major trauma...
837
00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:15,457
...and he thinks you should
take it slow for a while.
838
00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:19,419
Yeah, so, I was thinking, like,
while you're resting up and stuff...
839
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:22,547
- ...maybe you could let me win a few.
- Well, there you go.
840
00:47:22,715 --> 00:47:24,591
Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.
841
00:47:25,051 --> 00:47:28,011
Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby.
I mean, you know how I play it.
842
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,388
- Yeah.
- First or last, right, baby?
843
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,974
- Don't know what I was thinking.
- Besides...
844
00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:36,019
...Dennit Jr. must be freaking out.
All the money he's losing?
845
00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:37,771
Without me on the track?
846
00:47:37,939 --> 00:47:39,189
I mean, I just laugh...
847
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,317
...thinking about him whining
all the time, bitching and moaning:
848
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:44,569
"Damn, I wish Ricky was here."
849
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,279
You know what I mean?
850
00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:52,160
What?
851
00:47:52,328 --> 00:47:54,788
Frenchy can drive.
852
00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,918
Oh, no.
853
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,573
Very good.
854
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,908
C'est la vie and que sera, sera.
855
00:48:32,076 --> 00:48:35,120
It looks like the NASCAR
has gone French.
856
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,038
Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby...
857
00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:40,333
...is going to be running some test laps
this weekend at Rockingham...
858
00:48:40,501 --> 00:48:42,794
...in an attempt to come back
from his grisly crash.
859
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:46,423
It's one of the hardest things
to do in racing.
860
00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:49,301
To try to bounce back after
a devastating, violent wreck.
861
00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:51,928
Ricky Bobby was traumatized
during the incident.
862
00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:53,388
All right, baby.
Come on, now.
863
00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:56,933
But today he gets to strap back into
a racecar for the first time since...
864
00:48:57,101 --> 00:48:59,269
...to try to show he can still
get the job done.
865
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:02,689
- He's gonna be great. Yep.
- He's gonna be great, sure.
866
00:49:02,857 --> 00:49:05,650
Would you stop staring at me like that,
Susan? I swear...
867
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:08,320
...you are the weirdest little girl
I've ever seen.
868
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:11,197
Okay, I'm really gonna open it up!
869
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,454
I missed you, Mama Speed.
Ricky Bobby's back.
870
00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:19,372
Wait, how fast is he going?
871
00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,166
Twenty-six miles an hour.
872
00:49:23,628 --> 00:49:27,005
What were those things?
Were those the other cars?
873
00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:34,929
Oh, God. So fast.
874
00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:36,890
Go, baby! There you are.
875
00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,850
Am I on fire? I'm on fire.
876
00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:41,019
- No, no, you're not on fire.
- Stretch it out.
877
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:42,812
- It's okay, baby.
- Take it easy.
878
00:49:44,398 --> 00:49:47,067
- Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.
- Oh, God.
879
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:51,071
- Oh, he's in his underwear again.
- Ricky! Please put your clothes on.
880
00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:53,573
He's in his underwear again.
Go get him, fellas.
881
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:54,991
Oh, Lord.
882
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:58,036
You know who's gonna be
number one at Dennit Racing?
883
00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:01,539
- Not Ricky?
- I'm gonna windmill you.
884
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:04,584
Mr. Cal Naughton Jr.
885
00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:07,420
- Come back at him. It's the only way.
- Who are you?
886
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,255
- Number one.
- No.
887
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,926
- Oh, yes, ma'am.
- Ricky! Come on, man!
888
00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:14,511
It's embarrassing.
889
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:18,556
The ninjas are trying to get me.
The ninjas are trying to get me.
890
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:20,475
- Oh, my God.
- What happened?
891
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:23,103
What happened? He's done.
He's done.
892
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,814
That's what's happened.
It's over. He's finished.
893
00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:27,607
What's gonna happen to me?
894
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,819
I feel like I was riding inside
an asteroid or a comet or something.
895
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,029
Yeah, you were going fast.
896
00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:35,281
- Look at that.
- What are we gonna do?
897
00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:38,076
This is ugly.
This is bad for all of us. Look at that.
898
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,204
- I gotta go check on cuckoo bird.
- No, cuckoo's okay.
899
00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:44,124
Why don't you get over there
and settle down Carley for me?
900
00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:46,376
- Could you do that for me?
- Yes, sir.
901
00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,086
There you go.
902
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:51,381
What began as a day
of hope and optimism...
903
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:54,884
...for Ricky Bobby and his race team
has ended here in sad disappointment.
904
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,302
There we go, boy.
905
00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,346
- I lost all muscle control.
- Yeah, you did.
906
00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:01,975
- He just lost his muscle control is all.
- I lost my muscle control.
907
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:05,520
He's fine.
He just can't control the muscles.
908
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:17,490
- Thanks for the lift, Hershell.
- Yeah, no problem.
909
00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:24,748
Jenga!
910
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,001
I love you, Cal.
911
00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:31,838
- Good one, kiddo.
- What the hell's going on?
912
00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:34,132
Hey, Ricky, nice of you
to stop by for a visit.
913
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:37,177
What do you mean, a visit?
This is my house.
914
00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:38,845
Baby...
915
00:51:39,013 --> 00:51:41,181
...shoot. I'm so sorry.
916
00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,641
I really--
I didn't want it to be this way.
917
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:46,227
Hey, what happened
to the family portrait?
918
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,147
You just crudely pasted
your face over mine.
919
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:51,191
We're getting married, Ricky.
920
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:53,860
And we're getting matching
leprechaun tattoos.
921
00:51:54,028 --> 00:51:55,987
Isn't that cute?
With a little pot of gold.
922
00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,364
Is this some kind of joke?
You guys putting me on?
923
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,660
I was gone three hours.
Dennit just fired me from the team.
924
00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:04,704
Ricky, you and I...
925
00:52:04,872 --> 00:52:08,458
...we both know that this marriage
has been over for a long, long time.
926
00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:11,586
No! I honestly did not know that!
927
00:52:11,879 --> 00:52:16,299
Ricky, you can't race no more.
928
00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:21,387
I'm not going back to being poor
and dancing at the Wizard's Den.
929
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,389
You know, my old boyfriend Greg?
930
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,725
He still works there
and he was crazy.
931
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,894
Baby, stop.
932
00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:32,398
Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second.
Let me make sure I got this straight.
933
00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:35,109
Are you asking me for a divorce?
934
00:52:35,277 --> 00:52:37,862
- Yay! Two Christmases!
- Yay! Two Christmases!
935
00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:39,906
Cal?
936
00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,950
How could you do this to me, man?
937
00:52:42,117 --> 00:52:45,745
Ricky, your marriage was
a hollow shell.
938
00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:47,622
It was a cruel charade.
939
00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:49,874
She just gave me the 411
on the whole deal.
940
00:52:50,042 --> 00:52:53,461
And you know what else?
You never let me win one time.
941
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,047
I thought we had a good thing going.
Shake and Bake.
942
00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,925
You're doing great.
You just keep it up. Keep it up.
943
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,095
And Mr. Dennit told me
that it's my time now.
944
00:53:02,263 --> 00:53:04,389
- Oh, really?
- That Shake and Bake is dead.
945
00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:07,100
And we just came up
with a new nickname.
946
00:53:07,268 --> 00:53:09,727
- It's so good. It's so good.
- I got a new nickname.
947
00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:12,772
The Magic Man.
Now you see me...
948
00:53:13,649 --> 00:53:15,149
...now you don't.
949
00:53:15,317 --> 00:53:17,527
That is the stupidest nickname
I've ever heard.
950
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,404
Is it, Ricky?
951
00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:21,865
Because I think
you wish you thought of it.
952
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,452
All right. You got me.
That's an awesome nickname.
953
00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,830
I've always had a lot of great ideas.
954
00:53:28,998 --> 00:53:33,001
I also think I might design a car
that's in the shape of a rabbit.
955
00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:36,796
It might poop out little real rabbits out
the back that'll run around the track.
956
00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:39,299
You have live rabbits
being pooped out onto a track?
957
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:42,218
If I win, I might do a special thing
with David Copperfield...
958
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,679
...where he hides in my car
in the passenger seat...
959
00:53:44,847 --> 00:53:47,140
...and he just flings magic stuff
out the window.
960
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,225
Did you run any of this
by NASCAR?
961
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:53,062
Watch the mail for that invitation to
the wedding, because I want you there.
962
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:54,480
- What?!
- I know it...
963
00:53:54,648 --> 00:53:57,483
...that some bad stuff happened
just now, but in time--
964
00:53:57,651 --> 00:53:59,485
The wedding's not for
a couple of weeks.
965
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:01,529
Why would I come
to your guys' wedding?
966
00:54:01,697 --> 00:54:03,698
You're gonna get over it
and be my best man.
967
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,325
I'm not gonna be your best man!
968
00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:07,452
Baby, he's not gonna come
to the wedding.
969
00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:11,706
Cal, do you realize the implications
of your actions right now?
970
00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:13,166
What's "implication" mean?
971
00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:14,834
We are no longer friends.
972
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:17,670
- Why?
- What do you mean, "Why?"
973
00:54:18,672 --> 00:54:20,006
You're wrecking my life!
974
00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,842
You just lost your wife.
You just lost your job.
975
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,762
Don't throw out your best friend
because of your anger.
976
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:29,390
- That's absolutely ridiculous, man.
- Ricky...
977
00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:34,520
...remember, the field mouse is fast,
but the owl sees at night.
978
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,026
That's kind of creepy, ain't it?
979
00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:46,532
- Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow.
- Shut up.
980
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:49,369
- Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend.
- Bye.
981
00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:57,835
Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right?
982
00:54:58,045 --> 00:55:01,714
Mama, we got nowhere to go.
Carley and Cal took everything.
983
00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:03,883
Well, you're home now,
and you got your mama.
984
00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:05,218
Get in here, boys. Come on.
985
00:55:05,386 --> 00:55:08,137
Come on. Get in this house.
986
00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:17,230
Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire?
987
00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:21,317
- Nice denim shorts, dude.
- Hey, shut up, man.
988
00:55:33,914 --> 00:55:35,331
Hump me!
989
00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:41,170
Now, you watch yourself.
990
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:44,674
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.
991
00:55:51,432 --> 00:55:53,099
Hey, sorry, man.
992
00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:03,359
Hey.
993
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:05,528
I lost my license.
994
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,989
That's why I'm on the bus.
I'm delivering pizzas.
995
00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:10,616
Motherfucker,
what makes you think I care?
996
00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:13,494
Shut the fuck up!
997
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,247
I was just telling you that because--
998
00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:19,751
Like I said, I lost my license. I've
been having a lot of problems lately.
999
00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:22,545
Problems? I don't wanna hear about
your damn problems.
1000
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,255
Everybody got problems.
1001
00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:26,507
My mama got problems.
She just lost her leg.
1002
00:56:26,675 --> 00:56:30,595
My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle.
My dog threw up somebody's finger.
1003
00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:32,221
That's a problem.
1004
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:35,308
I really regret opening my mouth
and talking to you.
1005
00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:40,271
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Get out of the road!
1006
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:43,399
Hey, come on, man.
I'm on a bike. Relax.
1007
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:45,902
- Hey, shut up!
- Idiot!
1008
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:51,449
It's open.
1009
00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:55,578
Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.
1010
00:56:57,414 --> 00:57:00,500
- You are pizza?
- Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it.
1011
00:57:02,878 --> 00:57:06,172
Either close the door or come in.
I got weed in here, cowboy.
1012
00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:15,223
You got three pizzas that haven't
been eaten just sitting over there.
1013
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:18,184
I know. I've been calling them
all day trying to get you...
1014
00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:20,728
...but they keep sending me
different delivery people.
1015
00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:22,688
Trying to get me? Why?
1016
00:57:22,856 --> 00:57:24,565
Because I'm your daddy, that's why.
1017
00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:29,278
- What did you just say?
- I said, I'm your daddy.
1018
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,030
I'm Reese Bobby.
1019
00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:36,035
Me and your mama did it in a Rustler
Steak House bathroom when I was 17.
1020
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,037
And then you showed up.
1021
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:46,712
Hey, son.
1022
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,216
- Son! Son, did this go good?
- No!
1023
00:57:50,384 --> 00:57:53,344
- Seems to me like it went pretty good.
- You're not my dad.
1024
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,847
- It got a little heated, but...
- Stop talking to me!
1025
00:57:56,014 --> 00:57:59,142
Hey, is that a Huffy?
That's a nice-looking bike, boy.
1026
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,144
I can't believe it!
1027
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:04,480
I mean, he's been
blowing me off for 25 years...
1028
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:07,233
...and now he wants
to get to know me?
1029
00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:09,277
How the hell did he even find me?
1030
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:10,778
I called him.
1031
00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:13,906
Are you kidding me?
Mama, why did you go do that?
1032
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,783
Son, you need help.
1033
00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:18,494
- I know he's a son of a bitch.
- He's scary.
1034
00:58:18,662 --> 00:58:22,665
But you're a grown man.
You're delivering pizzas on a bike.
1035
00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:25,585
How'd you even get hooked up
with him in the first place?
1036
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:28,421
You probably couldn't tell
by looking at him now...
1037
00:58:28,839 --> 00:58:31,257
...but your daddy used to be
a real charmer.
1038
00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:36,304
And that night in the ladies' room of
the Rustler Steak House, he chose me.
1039
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:41,100
- In a ladies' room?
- Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!
1040
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:44,228
One of you turds is about
to get smacked in the mouth!
1041
00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:47,815
Hey, stop yelling at me, okay?
I'm your dad. You're 7 years old.
1042
00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:49,692
Don't talk like that.
1043
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:53,613
Hey. Hey there, Lucy.
1044
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,489
How you doing?
1045
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:59,452
Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son...
1046
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,705
...I know you don't
want me to be here...
1047
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:06,876
...but I saw what happened to you
on the television. You saw the fear.
1048
00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:09,003
- I can help you with that, son.
- Really?
1049
00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:12,548
What do you care about me or us?
You never even met your grandkids.
1050
00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:15,885
- What are you looking at, Popeye?
- Shut up, you little pot-licker.
1051
00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,428
I'll put you in a microwave.
1052
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:19,180
Now, you show me the DNA test...
1053
00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:22,350
...and then maybe I'll say hello
to these swamp rats.
1054
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:27,313
You people shut the hell up! I got
a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep.
1055
00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:30,650
You better shut up or I'll come
over there and rip a hole in that tent.
1056
00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:32,026
Yeah, shut up, Frank!
1057
00:59:32,194 --> 00:59:34,695
Go shave your balls,
you dusty old fart!
1058
00:59:34,863 --> 00:59:37,281
Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.
1059
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,578
I know you, son. I know you well.
1060
00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:45,957
You're just like me. Talladega's
coming up in a couple of weeks...
1061
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,834
- ...I know you wanna win that thing.
- No, I don't.
1062
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,128
Listen, Ricky.
1063
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,258
I'm 55 years old
and all I got to my name is a car...
1064
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:59,303
...and a duffle bag full of underwear,
and sweet, stinky weed.
1065
00:59:59,471 --> 01:00:01,639
How much you selling that weed for,
old man?
1066
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:04,141
I know I screwed up
raising you as a boy...
1067
01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:06,394
...but just let me help you as a man.
1068
01:00:07,688 --> 01:00:11,148
- Do it, Dad. Get your balls back.
- Go fast again.
1069
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,568
Fine. I'll do it.
1070
01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:18,864
- But I ain't calling you Daddy.
- Well, what you gonna call me?
1071
01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:21,784
All right, Professor Dickweed.
What's the plan?
1072
01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:25,037
Well, basically, what happened to you
is that you saw the fear.
1073
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:28,457
So before you can even think
about any real driving...
1074
01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:32,503
...you gotta make friends with
that fear. So get in the car.
1075
01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:42,096
What the hell?!
There's a goddamn cougar in the car!
1076
01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:44,307
I know there's a cougar,
I put it in there.
1077
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:47,435
You gotta learn to drive
with the fear.
1078
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:51,355
Ain't nothing more damn frightening
than driving with a cougar in the car.
1079
01:00:51,523 --> 01:00:53,649
- God, where'd you get that thing?
- I trapped it.
1080
01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:56,736
Been keeping it in my bathroom
at the motel, feeding it old pizza.
1081
01:00:56,903 --> 01:01:00,156
- Now get back in that car, you hear?
- No, I'm not getting in that car.
1082
01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:05,119
Hey, listen to me. If you're calm,
that wondrous big cat will be calm too.
1083
01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:06,829
But if you're scared...
1084
01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:10,458
...that beautiful death machine
will do what God made it to do...
1085
01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:13,544
...namely, eat you
with a smile on its face.
1086
01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:15,755
God, he's just following me
wherever I go.
1087
01:01:15,922 --> 01:01:17,298
Well, he's just looking at you.
1088
01:01:17,466 --> 01:01:20,134
You're saying if I just calm down,
the cougar will be okay?
1089
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:23,512
- You got it.
- Damn it. Okay.
1090
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,765
Come on, son.
You can do it. Come on.
1091
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:27,433
Oh, come on.
1092
01:01:28,352 --> 01:01:29,685
That's it.
1093
01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:34,357
- And no sudden moves.
- Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See?
1094
01:01:34,524 --> 01:01:36,525
- That's a little quick.
- You see what he did?
1095
01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:39,111
You gotta be a little more deliberate
in your movement.
1096
01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:41,989
I'm just gonna get in there.
I'm just gonna grab the handle.
1097
01:01:42,157 --> 01:01:44,784
I'm gonna get in and drive that car.
I'm gonna do it calm.
1098
01:01:44,951 --> 01:01:48,371
- Calm. Piece of cake.
- I was just trying to stay calm.
1099
01:01:50,624 --> 01:01:53,042
- Oh, man!
- Sometime today, son.
1100
01:01:53,210 --> 01:01:55,503
Okay, here we go. I'm getting in.
1101
01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:57,421
Oh, God, help me!
1102
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,966
- Ricky! Control your heart rate.
- Oh, my God!
1103
01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:04,470
Hey, Mama.
1104
01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:09,058
Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go?
1105
01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:11,727
Well, I was mauled by a cougar...
1106
01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:15,106
...learned nothing about driving,
and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined.
1107
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,066
But other than that, it went fine.
1108
01:02:17,234 --> 01:02:18,609
Where are the boys at?
1109
01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:22,113
I dropped them off at Sunday school
at my church about 10 minutes ago.
1110
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,572
Anarchy!
1111
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:26,909
- Anarchy! Anarchy!
- Anarchy!
1112
01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:30,496
- There they are.
- What in tarnation?
1113
01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:33,833
- Anarchy!
- I don't even know what that means...
1114
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,210
...but I love it!
1115
01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:40,214
- What in the hell?
- That is it!
1116
01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:43,175
That puts the lid right on the jar!
1117
01:02:43,844 --> 01:02:45,261
- Mama! Mama!
- No, Ricky, no.
1118
01:02:45,429 --> 01:02:48,889
I will not have my grandbabies
acting like shiftless, wild hobos.
1119
01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:52,017
All right, now, you boys listen up,
and you listen good.
1120
01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:55,521
Now, I am declaring Granny Law.
1121
01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:59,525
And if you do not obey Granny Law...
1122
01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,236
...I will paint your back porch red.
1123
01:03:02,404 --> 01:03:04,697
Sorry, Granny,
but you're shit out of luck.
1124
01:03:04,865 --> 01:03:07,199
We make the rules, not you.
1125
01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:10,369
Hey!
1126
01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:14,290
You're gonna break us
like wild horses, ain't you?
1127
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:17,710
It's the beginning of a new age.
1128
01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:21,547
Hey, Derek, it's Ricky.
1129
01:03:21,715 --> 01:03:24,175
Just wondering
if you can ditch school...
1130
01:03:24,342 --> 01:03:27,178
...and take over my shift
at the pizza place...
1131
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,513
...because I got strep throat.
1132
01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:32,224
And it's bad. I don't wanna
give it to everyone else.
1133
01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:34,685
So call me back.
You know the number.
1134
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:37,062
Hello.
1135
01:03:37,355 --> 01:03:40,316
Hey, man. How's it going?
You wanna come over and party?
1136
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:41,984
Did you just say "party"?
1137
01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:44,737
You know what? No.
Because I still hate you, okay?
1138
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,948
- What are you so mad about?
- What do you think I'm mad about?
1139
01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:50,576
Come on, man, that was last week.
1140
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:53,245
What about the time you ran over
my leg with a car?
1141
01:03:53,413 --> 01:03:57,124
- I let that go that day.
- Yeah, I remember.
1142
01:03:57,459 --> 01:03:59,168
Wind is kicking up.
1143
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,712
Are you in the hot tub?
1144
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,840
Answer me this:
When you're in spa mode...
1145
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,219
...how come the water level
drops in the spa?
1146
01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:11,972
Are you pressing the buttons
in the back panel or in the kitchen?
1147
01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:15,392
- I just started pressing stuff.
- Hey, don't press all those buttons.
1148
01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:19,104
I'm getting bored. You wanna
come over and play G. I. Joes?
1149
01:04:19,272 --> 01:04:20,940
I would love to. No!
1150
01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:24,109
Come on. You know what?
Screw you, man.
1151
01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:27,029
Ricky, man, you gotta
cross over the anger bridge.
1152
01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,156
Come back to the friendship shore.
1153
01:04:29,324 --> 01:04:32,952
- "Cross over the anger bridge"?
- Yeah, that's where you're at.
1154
01:04:33,119 --> 01:04:34,954
You're stuck on an anger bridge.
1155
01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,873
Can you not see why
I'm stuck on the anger bridge?
1156
01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:41,460
Look, I don't know why I'm talking
to you, okay? What is it?
1157
01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:45,130
They got bottomless nachos
at Bennigan's.
1158
01:04:45,757 --> 01:04:48,092
God, a whole mess of nachos
sounds good right now.
1159
01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:50,719
I don't have a car no more.
Can you come get me?
1160
01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:54,640
I'll get you. Which one of your cars do
you miss the most? I'll bring that one.
1161
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,850
- I miss the Hummer.
- I'm coming in the Hummer.
1162
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,644
- Are you ready?
- Yeah. No, wait.
1163
01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:01,230
Okay. Our friendship is done.
All right?
1164
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,440
- You hear?
- You wanna hang out in your house.
1165
01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:05,776
- Come on.
- Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up.
1166
01:05:05,944 --> 01:05:07,778
Okay, that's it. Bye.
1167
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:12,199
Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy.
I mean, this is borderline reckless.
1168
01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:16,036
Don't you get it? You don't drive with
your eyes, you drive with your heart.
1169
01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:18,163
This is just dumb.
I can't see a thing.
1170
01:05:18,331 --> 01:05:22,251
You gotta feel the road.
You gotta let it live inside you.
1171
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,004
- Are you feeling anything now?
- I'm feeling a little bit.
1172
01:05:25,171 --> 01:05:27,172
What do you feel?
Tell me what you're feeling.
1173
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:30,342
I'm feeling the worn wood
of the steering wheel.
1174
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:32,511
- Yeah. What else?
- A little bit of heat.
1175
01:05:32,679 --> 01:05:35,014
That's you and the car
melded together.
1176
01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:38,767
Yeah, now I'm really feeling it.
I feel like the car could drive itself.
1177
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,811
I bet it could. Start her up.
1178
01:05:40,979 --> 01:05:43,022
I'm gonna start this car up.
1179
01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:45,357
Attaboy. All right, son.
1180
01:05:45,525 --> 01:05:47,359
Drive.
1181
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:07,296
I'm embarrassed.
I really thought I could feel it.
1182
01:06:07,464 --> 01:06:10,758
You know what? We better hightail it
out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed.
1183
01:06:10,925 --> 01:06:12,468
All right.
1184
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:15,179
No, no, Ricky. No blindfold.
1185
01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:19,683
Get this highway clean, come on.
1186
01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:22,478
I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows.
1187
01:06:22,645 --> 01:06:25,105
- How much more of this?
- I don't know.
1188
01:06:25,273 --> 01:06:29,068
How many more times are you gonna
toss me the radio in the bathtub?
1189
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:40,913
- Hello?
- Hey, man. You up?
1190
01:06:41,081 --> 01:06:43,582
- No.
- Wake up. I need to talk to you.
1191
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:45,334
I think your house is haunted.
1192
01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:47,544
Hey, come on.
It's 2:30 in the morning.
1193
01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:51,340
I can't sleep in here, man.
I'm scared.
1194
01:06:51,549 --> 01:06:54,134
Look, there's nothing to be scared of.
It's a new house...
1195
01:06:54,302 --> 01:06:56,720
...there's a lot of creaks and moans
and groans in it.
1196
01:06:56,888 --> 01:07:00,808
- Put on-- You got your TV on?
- Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on.
1197
01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:04,770
- Turn on channel 42.
- Forty-two?
1198
01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:08,232
- Look at them buns.
- Well, that is a set of buns.
1199
01:07:08,483 --> 01:07:10,234
And down, and down, and--
1200
01:07:10,402 --> 01:07:12,903
What's she doing exercising
at 2:30 in the morning?
1201
01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:14,947
Oh, yeah, that's a really good point.
1202
01:07:15,115 --> 01:07:18,492
I don't know why I'm talking to you.
Do you remember that I hate you?
1203
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:21,245
Hey, man, you know what
I was thinking?
1204
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,039
- You're lucky.
- I'm lucky?
1205
01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,125
- How so?
- Well, check it out.
1206
01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:30,963
I'm sitting here in this enormous
haunted mansion, can't sleep.
1207
01:07:31,131 --> 01:07:33,340
You're hanging out at your mom's.
That's awesome.
1208
01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:37,511
- That's, like, the opposite of awesome.
- Well, this is like a hotel room...
1209
01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:39,304
...with someone else's junk in it.
1210
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:43,892
Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's
junk, that used to be my stuff.
1211
01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:47,521
I'm just having a hard time, man.
I'm just calling up for some support.
1212
01:07:47,689 --> 01:07:50,816
Do you--? Do you know
how crazy that sounds?
1213
01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:52,734
- Hey, one more thing.
- Yeah?
1214
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:57,239
When you have the stereo on
at the same time as the TV...
1215
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,575
...how do you control the volume
on the TV?
1216
01:07:59,742 --> 01:08:02,286
Why do you want to listen to the TV
with the stereo on?
1217
01:08:02,454 --> 01:08:04,329
Because I like to party.
1218
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:06,373
Why am I still talking to you?
1219
01:08:06,541 --> 01:08:08,417
Come on.
We were doing good there, man.
1220
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:10,836
I'm taking care of your house good.
1221
01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:14,256
I keep snapping back into it.
It's like a trick you're pulling on me.
1222
01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:18,719
- All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow.
1223
01:08:21,473 --> 01:08:23,640
Shit.
1224
01:08:23,808 --> 01:08:26,560
Get out.
1225
01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:35,360
Where did stock-car racing
come from?
1226
01:08:35,528 --> 01:08:36,737
What?
1227
01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:40,991
- Hey, stop doing that.
- How did stock-car racing get its start?
1228
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,870
Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have
cars fast enough to outrun the Feds...
1229
01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:47,831
- ...then they started racing each other.
- That's right.
1230
01:08:47,999 --> 01:08:51,168
If I was right, why'd you throw
another bucket on me?
1231
01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:55,172
I filled up three. Now, there's nothing
like driving to avoid jail.
1232
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:58,967
Nothing hones your mind
and your instincts like necessity.
1233
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:02,554
So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath
the car and called the boys in blue.
1234
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:05,557
Now, the way I figure it,
you got about two minutes...
1235
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:09,102
...before they show up
and you do five to 10.
1236
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:13,148
So, what's it gonna be?
Fear or prison?
1237
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:16,527
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Real simple, son.
1238
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:17,945
Cops are coming.
1239
01:09:18,112 --> 01:09:23,242
There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam
under the car. Time to be a man.
1240
01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:27,579
- You got hair on your peaches or what?
- You're not kidding, are you? Man.
1241
01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,916
You crazy creep!
1242
01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:40,133
Come on, son.
What's it gonna be?
1243
01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:42,094
Speed or jail?
1244
01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:54,147
Grandpa, would you like
to take us fishing...
1245
01:09:54,315 --> 01:09:57,776
...and tell us life lessons and stories
about your childhood?
1246
01:09:57,944 --> 01:09:59,236
I got a better idea.
1247
01:09:59,404 --> 01:10:02,281
Why don't you boys go dig a hole
and I'll get another beer?
1248
01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:06,493
Someone didn't love you enough
when you were little, did they?
1249
01:10:06,661 --> 01:10:09,454
Good call.
Here, that's worth a nickel.
1250
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:10,914
Tragic.
1251
01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:19,923
Son of a bitch, son of a bitch,
son of a bitch.
1252
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,176
Oh, man. Oh, man!
1253
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,599
One-sixteen. One-sixteen!
1254
01:10:28,766 --> 01:10:31,143
I'm going fast again!
1255
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:52,623
Pull over! Pull over!
1256
01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:56,668
Pull over?
I'll pull over for you. How about this?
1257
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:33,538
Where are you?
1258
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:39,086
Gotcha.
1259
01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:51,264
"Feels good going fast, doesn't it?
1260
01:11:51,432 --> 01:11:56,561
By the way, don't try and snort
these Lucky Charms. Reese."
1261
01:11:58,398 --> 01:12:00,023
Okay.
1262
01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:02,651
Okay.
1263
01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:16,456
There you go, little man.
1264
01:12:27,385 --> 01:12:28,844
Hey, Ricky!
1265
01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:30,595
How you doing?
1266
01:12:34,559 --> 01:12:38,395
- Oh, Nana, not my prison shank.
- In the can.
1267
01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:50,240
There's your
mother-flipping driving test.
1268
01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:53,285
Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.
1269
01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:59,207
Down, Karen! Get down!
Get down, Karen!
1270
01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:01,126
It's all right. It's gonna be okay.
1271
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,555
Well, son, you are looking good
behind that wheel.
1272
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:17,601
Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you,
I feel good. Heck, you know what?
1273
01:13:17,769 --> 01:13:20,395
Let's go out tonight, you know,
the whole family.
1274
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:23,940
I'm talking about sitting down,
enjoying a gourmet meal...
1275
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:26,401
...at a place that's real special.
1276
01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:29,905
- Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy.
- You got your own skillet.
1277
01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:32,491
- Be back to check on you in a minute.
- Thank you.
1278
01:13:32,658 --> 01:13:34,951
Oh, gooder than grits.
1279
01:13:35,119 --> 01:13:36,495
Let us pray.
1280
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,165
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
1281
01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:43,376
...lying there
in your little ghost manger...
1282
01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:47,005
...just looking at your Baby Einstein
developmental videos...
1283
01:13:47,173 --> 01:13:49,257
...learning about shapes
and colors and...
1284
01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,843
We just have so much
to be thankful for.
1285
01:13:52,011 --> 01:13:54,346
First off, my sons no longer act...
1286
01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:56,807
- ...like retarded gangbangers.
- Amen.
1287
01:13:56,974 --> 01:13:59,434
Also, I got my balls back
behind the wheel of a car.
1288
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:01,812
And most importantly,
we thank you...
1289
01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,941
...for bringing back our nasty,
delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us.
1290
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:09,152
For he was lost,
but now he is found. Amen.
1291
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,655
- Amen.
- Amen.
1292
01:14:11,823 --> 01:14:13,240
Son, that was lovely.
1293
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:15,242
- What a lovely meal.
- It sure is.
1294
01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:17,661
It certainly does look delicious.
1295
01:14:17,829 --> 01:14:20,914
I gotta tell you, this is about
a damn perfect evening right now.
1296
01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:23,750
It is, isn't it?
1297
01:14:23,918 --> 01:14:25,877
You know what we should do?
1298
01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:29,089
Every week, we should come back
to this Applebee's...
1299
01:14:29,257 --> 01:14:32,467
...and sit at this table,
and have a family meal.
1300
01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:35,053
- That's a great idea, Mama.
- And order the same stuff.
1301
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:38,181
- That would be great.
- And I would be delighted, Reese...
1302
01:14:38,349 --> 01:14:42,435
...if you would accompany me to
ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights.
1303
01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:44,437
- Tuesday night?
- It's a lot of fun.
1304
01:14:44,605 --> 01:14:47,315
- I think you'd have a good time.
- How's everybody doing here?
1305
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:50,485
- Dolly, it's so good.
- Oh, it's really, really good.
1306
01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:55,115
You know, I just--
I hate to be a pain, darling...
1307
01:14:57,952 --> 01:15:00,745
...but I asked for no onions
on my Bourbon Steak.
1308
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:03,164
I am so sorry.
I thought you asked for onions--
1309
01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:05,208
Okay, okay,
maybe don't interrupt me.
1310
01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:08,461
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
- Yeah, well, I think you did mean to...
1311
01:15:08,629 --> 01:15:12,924
...and I also think that you meant
to put the damn onions on my steak.
1312
01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:14,843
- Okay, Reese.
- Grandfather...
1313
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:18,096
...can't we resolve
this conflict without anger?
1314
01:15:19,432 --> 01:15:22,726
- I'm a veteran and a diabetic!
- Dad!
1315
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:26,855
- Dad! Why are you doing this?
- Applebee's has rats!
1316
01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,274
I found a whole rat
in my Cobb salad!
1317
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,775
Dad, where are you going?
1318
01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:33,194
Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?
1319
01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:36,823
- What's going on, man?
- Ricky, let him go!
1320
01:15:36,991 --> 01:15:40,493
- Things were going good, weren't they?
- That's exactly why I had to blow it up.
1321
01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:42,662
I don't know what organ or bone
people have...
1322
01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:45,665
...that makes them act right,
but I was born without it. I'm no good.
1323
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:50,295
All those races I won,
that was for you, you know that?
1324
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:55,258
I did just like you told me:
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1325
01:15:55,426 --> 01:15:57,135
What the hell are you talking about?
1326
01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,971
What you told me
that day at school for career day.
1327
01:16:01,807 --> 01:16:05,602
You came in and you said,
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1328
01:16:07,146 --> 01:16:10,231
Oh, hell, Ricky,
I was high when I said that.
1329
01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:12,150
That doesn't make any sense at all.
1330
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:16,279
"You're first or last." You can
be second, you can be third, fourth.
1331
01:16:16,447 --> 01:16:18,281
Hell, you can even be fifth.
1332
01:16:18,449 --> 01:16:23,036
What are you talking about?
I lived my whole life based on that.
1333
01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:25,538
Well, now what the hell
am I supposed to do?
1334
01:16:27,375 --> 01:16:30,794
Well, that's the million-dollar question,
isn't it?
1335
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:36,424
Good luck to you, son.
1336
01:16:37,343 --> 01:16:39,010
Hey, Dad!
1337
01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:41,805
Where are you going?
1338
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:44,683
Does it matter?
1339
01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:17,132
Here we go.
1340
01:17:19,051 --> 01:17:20,593
Hey, don't bump me.
1341
01:17:21,762 --> 01:17:24,055
Oh, man, I'm flying.
1342
01:17:28,728 --> 01:17:31,479
Game over. Come on, reset.
1343
01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,357
Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?
1344
01:17:34,525 --> 01:17:36,276
How'd you get on a video game
so fast?
1345
01:17:36,444 --> 01:17:40,196
Is your name, by chance,
Ricky Bobby?
1346
01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:43,658
Hey, screw you, man!
I got nothing because of you!
1347
01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:48,872
- I hate you!
- Hey, Ricky.
1348
01:17:49,040 --> 01:17:52,083
I am on fire. I am on fire.
1349
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,044
Susan?
1350
01:17:54,211 --> 01:17:57,130
And so then I got a marketing
job with NASCAR.
1351
01:17:57,298 --> 01:18:00,300
- Really?
- Yeah, it's great. It's great.
1352
01:18:00,468 --> 01:18:04,137
Well, gosh, you look fantastic.
1353
01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:07,766
- Thank you.
- I mean, you've always looked good.
1354
01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:12,479
I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you.
1355
01:18:13,397 --> 01:18:14,814
Thank you.
1356
01:18:15,983 --> 01:18:17,525
But what about you?
1357
01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:19,861
How have you been?
What have you been doing?
1358
01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:23,782
Well, they want me to race at Talladega
next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it.
1359
01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:26,659
Because I'm done.
I'm done with the racing, with driving.
1360
01:18:26,827 --> 01:18:29,537
- Why would you do that?
- Because I've really moved on.
1361
01:18:29,747 --> 01:18:32,207
I've sent in my application to
The Real World...
1362
01:18:32,374 --> 01:18:33,917
...so I'm hoping to hear back.
1363
01:18:34,085 --> 01:18:37,504
I'm putting a lot of my eggs into
that basket, the MTV basket.
1364
01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:41,007
I'm also thinking about getting a gun
and dealing crack.
1365
01:18:41,175 --> 01:18:45,011
Being a crack dealer, but not like
a mean crack dealer, but like a...
1366
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,305
You know, like a nice one.
1367
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,516
Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey...
1368
01:18:49,683 --> 01:18:52,018
...what's up, guys?
You want some crack?"
1369
01:18:52,186 --> 01:18:55,480
I'm just waiting on those two things
to kind of flesh themselves out.
1370
01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:56,689
You know what, Ricky?
1371
01:18:56,857 --> 01:19:00,860
I have kept my mouth shut
for a really, really long time.
1372
01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:03,488
And I just don't think that I can
keep it shut anymore.
1373
01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:06,616
I just have to tell you that I think
you are making a big mistake.
1374
01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:08,451
- Really?
- Yes.
1375
01:19:08,619 --> 01:19:12,122
Why is it that you always fall
for people who leave you?
1376
01:19:12,498 --> 01:19:14,207
Have you noticed that?
1377
01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:19,504
Like Carley and your dad
and your sponsors.
1378
01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:23,341
And you always have
to prove yourself. Wh--?
1379
01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:27,512
Well, you gotta listen
to me here, okay?
1380
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:31,933
You gotta win to get love.
Everyone knows that.
1381
01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,352
I mean, that's just life.
1382
01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:40,441
Look at Don Shula,
legendary coach.
1383
01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:44,028
Look at that Asian guy
who holds the world record...
1384
01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:46,156
...for eating all those hot dogs
in a row.
1385
01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:50,034
Look at Rue McClanahan
from The Golden Girls.
1386
01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:54,205
All three people,
all great champions, all loved.
1387
01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:56,958
Do you wanna know why I think
that you should race again?
1388
01:19:58,002 --> 01:19:59,210
Sure. Why?
1389
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:03,673
Okay. It's because
it's what you love, Ricky.
1390
01:20:04,049 --> 01:20:06,885
It is who you were born to be.
1391
01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:10,346
And here you sit, thinking.
1392
01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:15,602
Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker.
Ricky Bobby is a driver.
1393
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:18,146
He is a doer.
And that's what you need to do.
1394
01:20:18,314 --> 01:20:20,190
You don't need to think,
you need to drive.
1395
01:20:20,357 --> 01:20:24,235
You need speed. You need to go out
there, and you need to rev your engine.
1396
01:20:24,403 --> 01:20:25,445
You need to fire it up.
1397
01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:28,364
You need to grab hold of the line
between speed and chaos...
1398
01:20:28,532 --> 01:20:31,326
...and you need to wrestle it
to the ground like a demon cobra.
1399
01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:34,329
And then, when that fear rises up
in your belly, you use it...
1400
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:37,415
...and you know that fear is powerful
because it has been there...
1401
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:41,669
...for billions of years! And it is good,
and you use it, and you ride it.
1402
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:44,672
You ride it like a skeleton horse
through the gates of hell...
1403
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:46,341
...and then you win! You win!
1404
01:20:46,508 --> 01:20:49,260
You don't win for anybody else,
you win for you. You know why?
1405
01:20:49,428 --> 01:20:51,721
Because a man takes what he wants,
he takes it all.
1406
01:20:51,889 --> 01:20:54,557
And you're a man, aren't you?
Aren't you?
1407
01:20:55,434 --> 01:20:57,602
Susan, I've never heard you
talk like that.
1408
01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:02,941
Are we about to get it on?
1409
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:05,902
Because I'm as hard as a diamond
in an ice storm right now.
1410
01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:11,658
- This is awesome.
- Yes, it is.
1411
01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:14,786
- Are you climbing on the table now?
- Yes, sir.
1412
01:21:20,251 --> 01:21:22,710
I can't believe this.
1413
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:28,716
This is like that Whitesnake video
where the girl crawls on...
1414
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:31,803
Yeah. Just like that.
What's her name?
1415
01:21:31,971 --> 01:21:34,055
Tawny Kitaen. She's really good.
1416
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,182
- She's great.
- She's fantastic.
1417
01:21:37,393 --> 01:21:38,977
Everyone, turn away.
1418
01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:43,189
Things are gonna get crazy.
We're gonna make animal noises.
1419
01:22:18,392 --> 01:22:20,727
- Looks good, damn good.
- Yeah. That's good, guys.
1420
01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:23,521
Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back.
1421
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:25,356
- Talladega.
- Talladega.
1422
01:22:25,691 --> 01:22:27,692
I missed you dudes.
1423
01:22:27,860 --> 01:22:29,110
Even you too, Glenn.
1424
01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:35,950
I didn't have a whole lot of money left,
but what I did I put into the car.
1425
01:22:36,118 --> 01:22:39,037
We got some lower-end sponsors,
so it's nothing to shout about...
1426
01:22:39,204 --> 01:22:41,414
...but at least we got
something to run in.
1427
01:22:41,707 --> 01:22:42,999
Let's see what we got, guys.
1428
01:22:44,418 --> 01:22:47,462
What are we looking at?
"Julio's thongs for men"?
1429
01:22:47,629 --> 01:22:49,797
Come on, what kind of dude
wears a thong?
1430
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:52,008
Yeah, that's messed up.
1431
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:53,634
Perverts, you know?
1432
01:22:55,137 --> 01:22:56,596
Not the best car, but it'll move.
1433
01:22:57,931 --> 01:23:01,601
Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see
what this thing's got under the hood.
1434
01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:06,314
- There she is.
- Looks like the Pep Boys threw up.
1435
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:08,316
- Damn.
- Like I said, work in progress.
1436
01:23:08,484 --> 01:23:12,153
All right, I tell you what we gotta do.
Since we got no corporate money...
1437
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:14,197
...we have to build this
engine ourselves.
1438
01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:18,576
I want you to hit up every independent
driver out there for spare parts.
1439
01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:20,703
Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy.
1440
01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:24,165
Well, crazy is all we got
right now, okay? So do it.
1441
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:25,416
Now, where you going?
1442
01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:28,044
I wanna tell Gérard Depardieu
we're coming for him.
1443
01:23:28,212 --> 01:23:30,922
There you go, baby. Give him hell.
1444
01:23:31,090 --> 01:23:34,592
Get this engine built. Get it built.
1445
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:42,767
I have not finished.
1446
01:23:50,651 --> 01:23:54,404
Monsieur Girard,
Ricky Bobby is here to see you.
1447
01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:58,449
This is the one I was talking about,
Ricky Bobby.
1448
01:23:59,743 --> 01:24:02,203
Thank you, Bacco. Go.
1449
01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:05,289
You're a tough man to find.
You know that, buster?
1450
01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:08,084
I prefer solitude
the day before a race.
1451
01:24:08,252 --> 01:24:11,254
I am being so incredibly rude,
Monsieur Bobby.
1452
01:24:11,422 --> 01:24:13,881
Let me introduce you
to my lunch guests.
1453
01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:17,343
This is my dear old friend
Elvis Costello.
1454
01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:21,305
Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert.
I thought you were dead.
1455
01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:28,104
And next to him is hip-hop artist,
poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def.
1456
01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:30,982
I like your driving style.
I'm more of a Tony Stewart man...
1457
01:24:31,150 --> 01:24:32,733
...number 20 car, myself.
1458
01:24:32,901 --> 01:24:34,944
How he gets into
those straightaways.
1459
01:24:35,112 --> 01:24:36,654
Gets it in the paint. Get her done!
1460
01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:39,657
And across from Monsieur Def...
1461
01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:41,909
...is Breeze.
1462
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:45,246
Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze?
Which one of you is Breeze?
1463
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,915
Together we are Breeze.
1464
01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:51,878
They are like twins,
born from different wombs.
1465
01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:53,796
- Right.
- They are God's most...
1466
01:24:53,964 --> 01:24:56,215
...beautiful mistake.
1467
01:24:56,633 --> 01:25:00,094
They do everything together.
Everything.
1468
01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:02,680
They read the same books.
1469
01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:06,517
They do Pilates together.
1470
01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:10,021
They walk, talk, sleep...
1471
01:25:10,355 --> 01:25:12,190
...even go make toilet.
1472
01:25:12,357 --> 01:25:14,317
Okay, you're starting
to creep me out, man.
1473
01:25:14,485 --> 01:25:16,068
A single plop.
1474
01:25:16,236 --> 01:25:17,904
One single plop.
1475
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,574
I don't need to hear about
doing a toilet.
1476
01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:23,201
You want more examples?
1477
01:25:23,368 --> 01:25:26,537
- No, you listed like 8000.
- Less than that.
1478
01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:28,623
- It's none of my business.
- More like...
1479
01:25:28,790 --> 01:25:30,458
...I don't know, between five and 10.
1480
01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:32,752
Look, I need to talk to you.
1481
01:25:32,920 --> 01:25:34,670
Walk with me, Ricky Bobby.
1482
01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:37,048
- You have a good lunch.
- Take care, man.
1483
01:25:37,716 --> 01:25:39,884
- Goodbye, Ricky.
- Goodbye.
1484
01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:42,929
Holding hands with a man
makes me terribly uncomfortable.
1485
01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:46,224
It is a sign of friendship
in many countries.
1486
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,142
Well, not in ours.
1487
01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:50,978
There's nothing sexual about it.
1488
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,564
Please don't be worried at the fact
I have an erection.
1489
01:25:53,732 --> 01:25:56,567
- It has nothing to do with you.
- Hey, come on.
1490
01:25:56,735 --> 01:26:01,489
Look. Here's the deal.
I came here to tell you one thing.
1491
01:26:01,657 --> 01:26:04,408
All right?
Tomorrow, I'm coming for you.
1492
01:26:04,576 --> 01:26:07,662
Do you know why I came to America,
Ricky Bobby?
1493
01:26:08,247 --> 01:26:11,415
Public schools, health-care system,
giant water parks.
1494
01:26:11,583 --> 01:26:13,834
I mean, the same reason
anyone comes to America.
1495
01:26:15,087 --> 01:26:18,548
I came here for you to beat me.
1496
01:26:18,966 --> 01:26:22,051
- What the hell are you talking about?
- My husband, Gregory, and I...
1497
01:26:22,219 --> 01:26:26,055
...wish only for that
which every other couple wishes for:
1498
01:26:26,223 --> 01:26:30,184
To tame Komodo dragons
in Sri Lanka...
1499
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:33,479
...and teach them
to perform Hamlet.
1500
01:26:33,647 --> 01:26:35,231
But before I can do that...
1501
01:26:35,399 --> 01:26:37,984
- That's dumb.
- It's not dumb.
1502
01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:40,027
- It is dumb.
- Why is it dumb?
1503
01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:42,154
- I don't know.
- But before I can do that...
1504
01:26:42,322 --> 01:26:46,701
...I must be beaten by a driver
who's truly better than me.
1505
01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:49,161
So you're gonna lose to me
on purpose?
1506
01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:51,080
- No.
- No?
1507
01:26:51,248 --> 01:26:52,582
No!
1508
01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:56,294
I will battle you with the entirety
of my heart.
1509
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,296
And you will probably lose.
1510
01:26:58,964 --> 01:27:03,301
But maybe, just maybe...
1511
01:27:03,969 --> 01:27:06,304
...you might challenge me.
1512
01:27:06,471 --> 01:27:08,097
God needs the devil.
1513
01:27:08,265 --> 01:27:11,183
The Beatles needed
the Rolling Stones.
1514
01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:14,854
Even Diane Sawyer
needed Katie Couric.
1515
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:18,858
Will you be my Katie Couric?
1516
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:23,613
I feel like I'm in Highlander.
1517
01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:28,242
What's the Highlander?
1518
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:29,660
It's a movie.
1519
01:27:29,828 --> 01:27:31,704
- Any good?
- Very good.
1520
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:33,831
- It won the Academy Award.
- Oh, for what?
1521
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:35,708
For best movie ever made.
1522
01:27:35,876 --> 01:27:39,003
I just want you to know I came here
today to tell you one thing.
1523
01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:42,048
That come race time tomorrow,
I'm coming for you, all right?
1524
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:45,176
- May God be with you.
- Yeah.
1525
01:27:45,344 --> 01:27:48,596
Because although
today I am friendly...
1526
01:27:49,556 --> 01:27:54,018
...tomorrow will be war!
1527
01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,103
All right.
1528
01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:04,945
Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair,
drop the kids off with their aunt...
1529
01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:07,948
...and take the phone off the hook
because it's race day here...
1530
01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:10,284
...at the Talladega Superspeedway.
1531
01:28:20,629 --> 01:28:22,463
Hey, guys.
1532
01:28:24,925 --> 01:28:26,884
- Why so down?
- Ricky...
1533
01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:29,637
...we were up all night
working on the car.
1534
01:28:29,805 --> 01:28:31,889
And then something happened.
There was a fire.
1535
01:28:32,057 --> 01:28:33,474
Did you say "fire"?
1536
01:28:33,642 --> 01:28:35,101
Glenn is dead, Ricky.
1537
01:28:36,186 --> 01:28:39,438
I mean,
he died last night in my arms...
1538
01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:41,190
- ...as I held him.
- Oh, man.
1539
01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:44,026
He was so scared,
because you know how little he is.
1540
01:28:44,194 --> 01:28:46,445
And death was coming for him,
and he stood there...
1541
01:28:46,613 --> 01:28:50,241
...and with a tear coming out his eyes,
he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me."
1542
01:28:50,409 --> 01:28:53,160
That's all that little bastard wanted,
was for you to win.
1543
01:28:53,328 --> 01:28:54,620
I wish you could've seen him.
1544
01:28:54,788 --> 01:28:57,415
I wish you could've felt
his little heart fluttering.
1545
01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,999
Sweet Jesus.
1546
01:28:59,543 --> 01:29:01,585
Poor Glenn.
1547
01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:06,716
Hey, what the hell, man.
Hey, Glenn. Glenn!
1548
01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:12,304
- I see you.
- Glenn, what did I say?
1549
01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:15,099
- I said, "Wait till after the race."
- Was he crying?
1550
01:29:15,267 --> 01:29:18,769
I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to
give you a little extra motivation.
1551
01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:21,814
Well, that is just sick, guys.
1552
01:29:21,982 --> 01:29:24,984
It's okay, Susie.
I appreciate it, guys.
1553
01:29:25,152 --> 01:29:26,527
Just trying to help out...
1554
01:29:26,737 --> 01:29:29,488
...even though
it was weird and perverse.
1555
01:29:29,656 --> 01:29:32,074
They're just trying to help, Ricky.
We're a team here.
1556
01:29:32,242 --> 01:29:34,493
- I appreciate it.
- Let's see what's under the hood.
1557
01:29:34,661 --> 01:29:36,829
All right, let's have a look.
1558
01:29:42,586 --> 01:29:45,796
Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt.
1559
01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:49,300
We were up all night working on it.
Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts.
1560
01:29:49,468 --> 01:29:50,676
Nice work, guys.
1561
01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:54,472
And your sponsors weren't doing
very much, so...
1562
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,640
...well, we repainted the car.
1563
01:29:56,808 --> 01:29:59,101
Well, take a look. Come on, guys.
1564
01:30:01,897 --> 01:30:05,149
Well, I like the cougar,
but what company is "M. E."?
1565
01:30:05,317 --> 01:30:07,651
"Me" is you...
1566
01:30:07,819 --> 01:30:09,487
...because it's just you out there.
1567
01:30:09,654 --> 01:30:12,490
We don't have
any corporate sponsors.
1568
01:30:12,657 --> 01:30:14,909
We don't have
any fancy team owners.
1569
01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:16,702
We have you...
1570
01:30:16,870 --> 01:30:19,830
...and this car, and this cougar...
1571
01:30:19,998 --> 01:30:22,833
...which symbolizes the fear
that you have overcome.
1572
01:30:23,001 --> 01:30:24,835
It's all there for you.
1573
01:30:25,295 --> 01:30:30,424
Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur,
the mighty sword King Arthur used...
1574
01:30:30,592 --> 01:30:33,010
...to bring together
the Knights of the Round Table...
1575
01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:38,015
...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying
with his queen, in the biblical sense.
1576
01:30:38,183 --> 01:30:39,850
Okay, Glenn.
1577
01:30:40,018 --> 01:30:43,020
Everything cool that Susan said,
you wrecked it.
1578
01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:46,941
Guys, let's go win ourselves
a race, all right?
1579
01:30:47,108 --> 01:30:49,193
- There you go. Yeah!
- Right?
1580
01:30:49,361 --> 01:30:51,821
Let's get out there and win a race.
1581
01:31:05,961 --> 01:31:07,419
From Provence, France...
1582
01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:11,257
...driver of the number 55
Perrier car...
1583
01:31:11,424 --> 01:31:14,468
...Jean Girard.
1584
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:24,395
From West River, North Carolina...
1585
01:31:24,563 --> 01:31:27,815
...driver of the number 47
old Spice car...
1586
01:31:27,983 --> 01:31:31,235
...Cal Naughton Jr.
1587
01:31:40,287 --> 01:31:42,121
Hey, Carley.
1588
01:31:42,289 --> 01:31:45,916
- Hey, Ricky.
- Carley! Hey, baby.
1589
01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:49,420
Baby.
1590
01:31:49,588 --> 01:31:51,589
Oh, hey, Ricky.
1591
01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:54,383
Hey, man.
We missed you at the wedding.
1592
01:31:54,551 --> 01:31:57,553
- You missed me at the wedding?
- Oh, man, it was so classy.
1593
01:31:57,721 --> 01:32:01,098
We had a Styx cover band
and a nacho fountain.
1594
01:32:01,266 --> 01:32:04,268
Check it, it was a nacho fountain
with six kinds of cheese on it.
1595
01:32:04,436 --> 01:32:07,730
- Liquid cheese? It cascaded down?
- Yeah.
1596
01:32:07,898 --> 01:32:09,940
- Are you serious?
- Amazing. Six different kinds.
1597
01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:11,775
Swiss, Havarti.
What was the other one?
1598
01:32:11,943 --> 01:32:13,027
- Gouda.
- Cheddar, Gouda.
1599
01:32:13,194 --> 01:32:15,154
That's the greatest thing
I ever heard of.
1600
01:32:15,322 --> 01:32:17,239
Bean buffet in front of it.
It was awesome.
1601
01:32:17,407 --> 01:32:20,701
Don't listen to him. And remember
one thing, he's the competition.
1602
01:32:20,869 --> 01:32:23,746
You're not very focused right now.
I need you to focus.
1603
01:32:23,914 --> 01:32:25,289
- Hey.
- What?
1604
01:32:25,457 --> 01:32:27,750
- I'm the Magic Man now. Okay?
- Yeah, I know.
1605
01:32:27,918 --> 01:32:30,920
So get ready for some tricks up
these sleeves, all right?
1606
01:32:31,087 --> 01:32:32,379
Watch your buns, pal.
1607
01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:35,341
Baby, that is real good talk.
Like we practiced last night.
1608
01:32:35,508 --> 01:32:37,968
I got something to tell you,
you mangy piece of trash.
1609
01:32:38,136 --> 01:32:40,804
- What?
- I'm sorry.
1610
01:32:42,933 --> 01:32:46,435
I took you for granted, Cal, and you
were a really good friend to me...
1611
01:32:46,645 --> 01:32:49,897
...and I never gave you your due.
It was my fault.
1612
01:32:51,024 --> 01:32:54,443
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm a little confused by your tactics.
1613
01:32:54,611 --> 01:32:57,446
- Tactics?
- Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough...
1614
01:32:57,614 --> 01:32:59,823
...until I figure it out. All right?
1615
01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:02,201
See you on the track.
1616
01:33:02,369 --> 01:33:04,787
- Come on, baby.
- I love you.
1617
01:33:04,955 --> 01:33:06,664
I love you too. Come on.
1618
01:33:06,831 --> 01:33:08,832
Abracadabra, homes.
1619
01:33:12,879 --> 01:33:15,673
Hi, Bill Weber, along with
Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.
1620
01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:19,510
Thanks for having us. Today,
Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track...
1621
01:33:19,678 --> 01:33:21,512
...where the big concern
is the big wreck.
1622
01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:23,806
And it's not if it happens,
it's where and when.
1623
01:33:23,974 --> 01:33:27,142
We have a guy in the race today
that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby.
1624
01:33:27,310 --> 01:33:29,436
Starting in the rear of the field,
underfunded...
1625
01:33:29,604 --> 01:33:32,189
...and the last time we saw him,
he caused a big crash.
1626
01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:35,818
A lot of big stories and some
big questions here at Talladega.
1627
01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:50,833
All right, go get them.
1628
01:34:04,806 --> 01:34:06,849
You must decide, Ricky Bobby.
1629
01:34:07,017 --> 01:34:10,686
Is it foolish pride,
or is it greatness for you?
1630
01:34:18,820 --> 01:34:21,655
- Hey, Jarvis!
- Go ahead, Cal.
1631
01:34:21,823 --> 01:34:24,950
If you slept with
your best friend's wife...
1632
01:34:25,118 --> 01:34:28,829
- ...why would he apologize to you?
- Yeah, I know. That's weird.
1633
01:34:28,997 --> 01:34:32,750
That's what I'm saying.
My head's all tied up like a pretzel.
1634
01:34:32,917 --> 01:34:34,585
I got a pretzel in my head.
1635
01:34:39,340 --> 01:34:40,799
- Ricky!
- Come on, Dad!
1636
01:35:07,702 --> 01:35:09,453
I've got some big investors
coming by.
1637
01:35:09,621 --> 01:35:11,497
These guys are
big-money power players.
1638
01:35:11,664 --> 01:35:15,042
If things go right, they could have us
owning half the cars in NASCAR.
1639
01:35:15,210 --> 01:35:17,002
So I want you--
No, I want you to behave.
1640
01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:18,462
- Oh, really?
- Quiet.
1641
01:35:18,630 --> 01:35:20,964
Should I not tell them
after 14 years of marriage...
1642
01:35:21,132 --> 01:35:23,175
...you're still afraid
to let me see you naked?
1643
01:35:23,343 --> 01:35:25,385
That's not a fear thing,
it's a trust thing.
1644
01:35:25,929 --> 01:35:28,931
Hey! I was wondering
where you guys got off to.
1645
01:35:29,099 --> 01:35:31,225
Baby, this is Ted Beamen
from Halliburton.
1646
01:35:31,392 --> 01:35:33,477
- Nice to meet you.
- Over here...
1647
01:35:33,645 --> 01:35:36,480
...is Dick Tangfield
from Dynacorp.
1648
01:35:36,648 --> 01:35:38,649
- Back there is...
- You have beautiful teeth.
1649
01:35:38,817 --> 01:35:40,526
Yes, he does.
Get yourselves down there.
1650
01:35:40,693 --> 01:35:42,402
- Adorable.
- Make yourselves at home...
1651
01:35:42,570 --> 01:35:45,989
- ...grab something to eat, over here...
- Sweetheart, sweetheart.
1652
01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:47,658
You're a sweetie pie.
1653
01:35:47,826 --> 01:35:50,661
She's very affectionate.
She suffered a recent loss--
1654
01:35:50,829 --> 01:35:52,162
You taste good too.
1655
01:35:52,330 --> 01:35:54,206
So she's a little emotional.
1656
01:35:54,374 --> 01:35:58,710
Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat.
Can we get these guys something?
1657
01:35:58,878 --> 01:36:02,172
Jean Girard started from the pole
and is out to a big lead.
1658
01:36:02,340 --> 01:36:04,675
As you know, Bill,
he's been doing that all year.
1659
01:36:07,137 --> 01:36:11,807
Where are you, Ricky Bobby?
Come face your destroyer!
1660
01:36:11,975 --> 01:36:14,476
"Come face your destroyer"?
Listen to how I sound.
1661
01:36:14,644 --> 01:36:16,520
I sound like a massive prick.
1662
01:36:18,648 --> 01:36:20,274
Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.
1663
01:36:20,441 --> 01:36:23,277
All right, Lucius.
Time to let the cougar loose.
1664
01:36:25,697 --> 01:36:27,573
Here we go, boys.
1665
01:36:35,165 --> 01:36:37,708
Ricky Bobby, in the 62 car,
on the move.
1666
01:36:37,876 --> 01:36:40,085
He's gone from 26th to 18th place.
1667
01:36:40,253 --> 01:36:43,922
Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the
stands with a country-music legend.
1668
01:36:44,090 --> 01:36:47,342
Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one
of the greatest country-music stars...
1669
01:36:47,510 --> 01:36:49,219
...of all time, Kenny Rogers.
1670
01:36:49,387 --> 01:36:53,390
- What do you think of the race so far?
- It's good. They're going really fast.
1671
01:36:53,558 --> 01:36:55,684
John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
1672
01:36:55,852 --> 01:36:58,395
In the song "The Gambler,"
you sang:
1673
01:36:58,563 --> 01:37:01,732
"You gotta know when to walk away
and know when to run."
1674
01:37:01,900 --> 01:37:04,359
Should Ricky Bobby have
stayed away from racing?
1675
01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:09,740
Mr. Bobby's very competitive.
If he wants to race, he should race.
1676
01:37:10,074 --> 01:37:13,869
Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny
Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.
1677
01:37:14,037 --> 01:37:15,996
Well, that, of course,
was not Kenny Rogers.
1678
01:37:16,164 --> 01:37:17,164
Not even close.
1679
01:37:18,166 --> 01:37:20,334
Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest...
1680
01:37:20,543 --> 01:37:22,920
...the guy that replaced you
at Dennit, dead ahead.
1681
01:37:23,129 --> 01:37:25,881
Bobby working really hard to pass
the Wonder Bread car.
1682
01:37:26,049 --> 01:37:27,841
That's his old ride, of course.
1683
01:37:34,349 --> 01:37:36,808
We've passed the halfway mark
with Ricky Bobby...
1684
01:37:36,976 --> 01:37:40,020
...now three car lengths
behind the leader.
1685
01:37:40,230 --> 01:37:43,440
Maybe subconsciously
you slept with Ricky's wife...
1686
01:37:43,608 --> 01:37:45,317
...as a way of getting back at him...
1687
01:37:45,485 --> 01:37:48,278
...for making you
come in second all those years.
1688
01:37:48,488 --> 01:37:52,699
I know one thing, Carley was definitely
unconscious every time we had sex.
1689
01:37:54,327 --> 01:37:56,536
Lucius, I got Cal Naughton
dead ahead of me.
1690
01:37:59,916 --> 01:38:02,709
Hey, Cal, you should pay attention.
I think he's passing you.
1691
01:38:02,877 --> 01:38:05,087
Is Ricky passing me
in my subconscious?
1692
01:38:05,255 --> 01:38:08,131
No, he's actually passing you.
That's happening right now.
1693
01:38:08,633 --> 01:38:10,884
Go, Ricky! Go!
1694
01:38:11,052 --> 01:38:12,636
Let's go back to our
John Hannafin...
1695
01:38:12,804 --> 01:38:16,306
...who's in the stands
with an NBA legend, Larry Bird.
1696
01:38:16,474 --> 01:38:18,976
Folks, I'm here with one of the great
NBA superstars...
1697
01:38:19,143 --> 01:38:20,894
...a real legend, Larry Bird.
1698
01:38:21,062 --> 01:38:24,273
I almost didn't recognize you with
the sunglasses. What are you up to?
1699
01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:26,108
Come on, John, pay attention.
1700
01:38:26,276 --> 01:38:28,443
I'm concerned.
He might have had a stroke.
1701
01:38:28,611 --> 01:38:31,154
Didn't Ricky Bobby used to
drive for you?
1702
01:38:31,322 --> 01:38:33,282
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- He's doing quite well.
1703
01:38:33,449 --> 01:38:36,493
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard!
1704
01:38:37,328 --> 01:38:39,788
Get Cal Naughton's crew chief
on the radio right away.
1705
01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:45,836
I believe you have some tickets waiting
for me. My name's Reese Bobby.
1706
01:38:46,004 --> 01:38:47,587
Reese Bobby.
1707
01:38:49,007 --> 01:38:52,467
Mister, these tickets have been waiting
for you for a long time.
1708
01:38:59,600 --> 01:39:01,935
Who needs two? I got tickets!
1709
01:39:02,103 --> 01:39:04,187
Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop.
1710
01:39:11,446 --> 01:39:15,824
All right, Girard, I found you.
Now let's see where this goes.
1711
01:39:15,992 --> 01:39:17,534
Bobby's gotten around Naughton...
1712
01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:21,288
...and now he's right behind Girard,
but Girard's gonna block the track.
1713
01:39:21,456 --> 01:39:23,540
Man, he's scary good.
1714
01:39:23,708 --> 01:39:25,876
Ah, Ricky Bobby.
1715
01:39:26,044 --> 01:39:30,630
Now we shall dance,
and yes, it will be a slow jam.
1716
01:39:36,846 --> 01:39:39,222
Damn it. Come on, man.
1717
01:39:42,060 --> 01:39:44,519
I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.
1718
01:39:44,687 --> 01:39:47,147
You are not the one to defeat me.
1719
01:39:50,943 --> 01:39:52,319
I can't get around him, man.
1720
01:39:56,574 --> 01:39:58,992
You tell Cal Naughton
to take Ricky Bobby out.
1721
01:39:59,160 --> 01:40:03,205
Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add
to your tremendous moral confusion...
1722
01:40:03,373 --> 01:40:04,831
...but I just heard from Dennit.
1723
01:40:04,999 --> 01:40:08,085
He said to take Ricky Bobby
out of the race or you're fired, buddy.
1724
01:40:08,252 --> 01:40:09,669
What are you talking about?
1725
01:40:09,837 --> 01:40:13,590
Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done.
That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus.
1726
01:40:13,758 --> 01:40:18,220
Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that
Ricky Bobby is my best friend.
1727
01:40:18,388 --> 01:40:21,223
- And it's Shake and Bake time.
- Cal, I don't like the way...
1728
01:40:21,391 --> 01:40:24,851
- ...you're talking out there.
- Damn the torpedoes!
1729
01:40:33,027 --> 01:40:37,239
Come on, man, slingshot it.
Slingshot, come on.
1730
01:40:37,407 --> 01:40:40,575
I can't believe it.
If it isn't Mike Honcho himself.
1731
01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:42,119
Shake and Bake, buddy!
1732
01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:44,246
Shake it before you bake it.
1733
01:40:45,123 --> 01:40:48,750
Here I come. Slingshot engaged.
1734
01:40:51,796 --> 01:40:53,422
Yeah!
1735
01:40:54,132 --> 01:40:55,757
I love you, Cal!
1736
01:40:55,925 --> 01:40:58,760
- What are you doing?
- Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all.
1737
01:40:58,928 --> 01:41:03,723
Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just
helped a rival driver pass a teammate.
1738
01:41:05,726 --> 01:41:09,980
Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest
to take out Cal Naughton right now.
1739
01:41:10,148 --> 01:41:12,607
Right now, you do it. You do it!
1740
01:41:13,234 --> 01:41:14,568
Yes, sir.
1741
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:25,245
And the 26 car just ran Naughton
into the wall.
1742
01:41:31,252 --> 01:41:32,836
Oh, man.
1743
01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:40,510
Damn you, Wavecrest!
1744
01:41:44,182 --> 01:41:48,435
The entire field was in that wreck,
and we've only got six laps to go.
1745
01:41:48,603 --> 01:41:51,480
only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard
got away clean.
1746
01:41:54,025 --> 01:41:56,485
It's just Jean and Ricky.
1747
01:42:00,865 --> 01:42:05,494
And now the matador shall dance
with the blind shoemaker.
1748
01:42:07,580 --> 01:42:10,749
Race officials have completed
an extensive cleanup of the track.
1749
01:42:10,917 --> 01:42:12,459
We're ready to get back to racing.
1750
01:42:12,627 --> 01:42:16,046
The 200,000 fans are on their feet,
and the green flag is in the air.
1751
01:42:25,348 --> 01:42:27,933
Bobby and Girard are
dueling each other for the lead.
1752
01:42:28,100 --> 01:42:30,393
No one seems to have the edge.
1753
01:42:30,561 --> 01:42:32,729
Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go!
1754
01:42:32,897 --> 01:42:35,524
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final lap.
1755
01:42:38,736 --> 01:42:42,656
By the way, Ricky,
I watched the Highlander movie.
1756
01:42:42,823 --> 01:42:44,241
It was shit.
1757
01:42:46,077 --> 01:42:48,578
Hang on, baby Jesus,
this is gonna get bumpy.
1758
01:43:15,273 --> 01:43:17,315
I've seen a lot of big crashes
at Talladega...
1759
01:43:17,483 --> 01:43:19,568
...but this is the longest one
I've ever seen.
1760
01:43:19,735 --> 01:43:22,445
Let's take a quick commercial break
and we'll be right back.
1761
01:43:22,613 --> 01:43:24,656
Hungry for both steak and shrimp?
1762
01:43:32,373 --> 01:43:36,251
Welcome back to Talladega,
where the long one continues.
1763
01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:47,637
No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby
have wrecked in the last lap...
1764
01:43:47,805 --> 01:43:49,639
...on the straightaway.
What a shame.
1765
01:43:49,807 --> 01:43:51,474
Oh, God.
1766
01:43:52,643 --> 01:43:56,479
It looks like neither Girard or Bobby
will finish this race.
1767
01:43:56,647 --> 01:43:59,858
We'd like to thank you for joining us
for NBC's coverage of NASCAR.
1768
01:44:00,026 --> 01:44:03,111
Coming up next,
it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown.
1769
01:44:22,673 --> 01:44:25,592
Wait a minute, there's something
going on on the track down there.
1770
01:44:25,760 --> 01:44:28,011
Oh, my God,
they're racing each other on foot.
1771
01:44:28,179 --> 01:44:29,596
These men will not quit.
1772
01:44:29,764 --> 01:44:31,848
Go! Go!
1773
01:44:34,352 --> 01:44:37,145
Ricky, Ricky. He's going,
he's going, he's going. Look!
1774
01:45:14,642 --> 01:45:16,351
He did it!
1775
01:45:22,983 --> 01:45:25,151
Well, I'll be damned.
1776
01:45:26,445 --> 01:45:28,613
Good for you, Ricky Bobby.
1777
01:45:34,453 --> 01:45:36,705
Yeah! Yeah!
1778
01:45:36,872 --> 01:45:38,248
Ricky Bobby wins!
1779
01:45:38,416 --> 01:45:41,000
You'll never see anything like that
in a hundred lifetimes.
1780
01:45:41,168 --> 01:45:44,796
It was completely illegal and in no way
will count, but that was something.
1781
01:45:44,964 --> 01:45:47,424
It was. That was really good.
1782
01:45:49,927 --> 01:45:53,513
Monsieur Bobby,
by defeating me today...
1783
01:45:53,681 --> 01:45:56,182
...you have set me free.
1784
01:45:56,350 --> 01:45:58,852
And for that, I thank you.
1785
01:46:00,855 --> 01:46:04,607
I will never shake your hand, ever.
1786
01:46:06,318 --> 01:46:08,653
But I will give you this.
1787
01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:34,679
Sir, you taste of America.
1788
01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:37,849
Thank you.
1789
01:46:42,897 --> 01:46:45,982
No, once was good. Once was good.
1790
01:46:50,362 --> 01:46:53,281
Boy, that Halliburton.
Halliburton's taken off, haven't they?
1791
01:46:53,449 --> 01:46:54,866
Yeah, yeah, we're doing well.
1792
01:46:55,034 --> 01:46:57,827
Now there's some stock
I'd like to get my hands on.
1793
01:46:57,995 --> 01:46:59,996
Ladies and gentlemen,
NASCAR fans...
1794
01:47:00,164 --> 01:47:02,832
...your eyes on Talladega's
famed Victory Lane...
1795
01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,876
...as we get ready
for trophy time here...
1796
01:47:05,044 --> 01:47:08,213
...following an exciting running
of the Talladega 500.
1797
01:47:08,380 --> 01:47:10,673
First, a very brief explanation.
1798
01:47:10,841 --> 01:47:15,345
Because the drivers that finished
first and second got out of their cars...
1799
01:47:15,513 --> 01:47:18,056
...they have officially
been disqualified.
1800
01:47:18,224 --> 01:47:22,018
So now the winner, he was third,
he's now number one:
1801
01:47:22,645 --> 01:47:26,022
Cal Naughton Jr.!
1802
01:47:27,191 --> 01:47:28,858
Yeah, come on, guys!
1803
01:47:31,403 --> 01:47:34,447
- Give me that thing.
- Cal, you're number one!
1804
01:47:34,615 --> 01:47:37,200
I've been waiting a long time for you
to say my name, man.
1805
01:47:37,368 --> 01:47:40,537
I know it's a technicality,
but I tell you what...
1806
01:47:40,704 --> 01:47:43,998
...you try to take this away from me,
I'll sock you in the face.
1807
01:47:44,166 --> 01:47:46,000
Ricky.
1808
01:47:46,168 --> 01:47:47,877
Give me that thing.
1809
01:47:50,714 --> 01:47:53,925
I can't believe it. I can't believe it!
1810
01:47:54,552 --> 01:47:57,387
- Cal!
- Put me down.
1811
01:47:57,555 --> 01:47:59,222
I'm proud of you!
1812
01:47:59,390 --> 01:48:02,976
Get up here, man.
No, you come up here.
1813
01:48:03,143 --> 01:48:04,561
You come up here.
1814
01:48:07,731 --> 01:48:10,149
- Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton.
- Oh, my God.
1815
01:48:10,317 --> 01:48:13,236
For this to happen...
Am I dead, man?
1816
01:48:13,404 --> 01:48:15,738
You won the Talladega 500,
all right?
1817
01:48:17,199 --> 01:48:18,741
I owe you an apology.
1818
01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:21,661
- Come on.
- Man, I'm sorry about Carley.
1819
01:48:21,829 --> 01:48:24,747
She walked straight up to me
and grabbed me in the crotch.
1820
01:48:24,915 --> 01:48:28,418
- It's like a tractor beam of hotness.
- I know.
1821
01:48:29,753 --> 01:48:31,671
Shake and Bake?
1822
01:48:33,007 --> 01:48:36,175
No. Never again.
1823
01:48:38,137 --> 01:48:42,557
You're right.
I was a total dick, man.
1824
01:48:42,725 --> 01:48:44,809
From now on...
1825
01:48:46,061 --> 01:48:48,187
...it's Magic Man...
1826
01:48:48,355 --> 01:48:49,939
...and El Diablo.
1827
01:48:50,900 --> 01:48:52,609
What's "Diablo" mean?
1828
01:48:52,776 --> 01:48:54,027
It's like, you know...
1829
01:48:54,194 --> 01:48:56,446
It's like Spanish for,
like, a fighting chicken.
1830
01:48:56,614 --> 01:48:58,031
- That's awesome.
- I know.
1831
01:48:58,198 --> 01:49:01,284
- With the claws.
- With the claws and the beak.
1832
01:49:01,452 --> 01:49:02,911
Where did you think of that?
1833
01:49:03,078 --> 01:49:04,746
You just-- Sometimes things click.
1834
01:49:05,289 --> 01:49:07,790
- I love you, bro.
- I love you too.
1835
01:49:09,293 --> 01:49:13,212
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
1836
01:49:14,048 --> 01:49:17,467
Excuse me, guys. Nice job.
1837
01:49:17,635 --> 01:49:19,010
Hey, Ricky.
1838
01:49:19,470 --> 01:49:20,803
Hey, Carley.
1839
01:49:20,971 --> 01:49:24,724
I've decided I can love you again.
You're a winner.
1840
01:49:25,142 --> 01:49:27,477
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- Really?
1841
01:49:27,645 --> 01:49:32,690
Are you prepared to walk away
from these pearls...
1842
01:49:33,901 --> 01:49:35,193
...of delight?
1843
01:49:39,657 --> 01:49:43,326
Well... Yeah, this is tough.
How would it work?
1844
01:49:43,494 --> 01:49:45,244
- Would Cal move out?
- Yep, gone.
1845
01:49:45,412 --> 01:49:47,538
Kids move back in?
1846
01:49:47,706 --> 01:49:50,833
- Can I just have a little refresher?
- Of course, baby.
1847
01:49:52,378 --> 01:49:54,379
This is why you fell in love,
don't forget.
1848
01:49:54,546 --> 01:49:56,839
Yeah, I'm in.
I'm moving in right now.
1849
01:49:57,007 --> 01:49:58,967
I'll drive 100 miles an hour
to your house.
1850
01:49:59,134 --> 01:50:00,885
- Our house. Our house.
- Our house, yeah.
1851
01:50:01,053 --> 01:50:03,346
No, I'm not. Come on.
It's gonna be awkward.
1852
01:50:03,514 --> 01:50:05,139
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
1853
01:50:07,267 --> 01:50:09,018
Wait a minute.
1854
01:50:09,269 --> 01:50:12,480
You are ready to walk away...
1855
01:50:12,648 --> 01:50:16,317
...from FHM magazine's
number seven hottest ass...
1856
01:50:16,485 --> 01:50:20,321
...for the girl who forgets
to get your dry cleaning?
1857
01:50:20,489 --> 01:50:21,948
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1858
01:50:22,241 --> 01:50:24,909
- Yeah.
- Good luck, weirdoes.
1859
01:50:25,077 --> 01:50:26,869
- Carley, come back here.
- Yes, Susie Q?
1860
01:50:27,037 --> 01:50:30,039
There's something I've wanted
to tell you for a really long time.
1861
01:50:31,291 --> 01:50:34,502
Thank you. Maybe one together?
1862
01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:38,548
- Susie Q, are those real?
- Yeah.
1863
01:50:38,716 --> 01:50:41,634
Well, girl, you got some game.
1864
01:50:43,387 --> 01:50:45,346
- We'll see you on down the road.
- Yeah.
1865
01:50:45,514 --> 01:50:47,390
- You seen Cal?
- He's somewhere around here.
1866
01:50:47,558 --> 01:50:50,601
Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming.
Thanks, baby.
1867
01:50:51,562 --> 01:50:54,230
- Maybe one more?
- Oh, boys.
1868
01:50:54,398 --> 01:50:55,898
- She's crazy.
- Oh, thank you.
1869
01:50:56,066 --> 01:50:57,734
- You did good.
- Thanks, Mama.
1870
01:50:57,901 --> 01:50:59,402
He's amazing.
1871
01:50:59,570 --> 01:51:01,654
That was one heck of a day,
I gotta say.
1872
01:51:01,822 --> 01:51:04,657
That's some nice driving there,
cowboy.
1873
01:51:04,825 --> 01:51:07,618
- Hey, Daddy.
- Well, hello, Reese.
1874
01:51:07,786 --> 01:51:12,373
Well, if it isn't our old
mangy, transient grandfather.
1875
01:51:12,750 --> 01:51:15,501
Well said, grandson.
Take that as a compliment.
1876
01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:18,838
Hey, Ricky,
let me ask you a question.
1877
01:51:21,759 --> 01:51:23,426
Who did you win that race for?
1878
01:51:23,635 --> 01:51:25,803
Well, I sure as hell didn't
win it for you.
1879
01:51:26,305 --> 01:51:27,889
I like hearing that.
1880
01:51:28,932 --> 01:51:31,434
I guess if I really gotta think about it...
1881
01:51:31,935 --> 01:51:34,645
...I just went out there and drove.
1882
01:51:34,813 --> 01:51:37,023
And knew that no matter
what happened...
1883
01:51:37,649 --> 01:51:43,196
...my boys, my mama,
and my lady would love me.
1884
01:51:44,448 --> 01:51:47,450
Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan.
1885
01:51:47,618 --> 01:51:50,411
I painted the car, I...
We had sex.
1886
01:51:50,579 --> 01:51:52,538
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
1887
01:51:52,706 --> 01:51:54,707
Well, I wish I could've
been there for that.
1888
01:51:54,875 --> 01:51:57,335
Son, I'm proud of you.
1889
01:51:58,796 --> 01:52:03,299
Yep. Yeah, I think...
I guess things are...
1890
01:52:04,384 --> 01:52:06,552
...just pretty much perfect right now.
1891
01:52:08,472 --> 01:52:10,473
It's making me a little itchy.
1892
01:52:12,309 --> 01:52:15,603
Well, what do you say
we get thrown out of an Applebee's?
1893
01:52:15,771 --> 01:52:18,147
- That sound like a good idea?
- You read my mind, son.
1894
01:52:18,315 --> 01:52:20,858
- You can cuss at Applebee's.
- Everybody pile in.
1895
01:52:21,026 --> 01:52:22,860
How does one get thrown out
of Applebee's?
1896
01:52:23,028 --> 01:52:25,613
- You're about to find out.
- Okay.
1897
01:52:25,781 --> 01:52:27,740
Watch, the doors actually open.
1898
01:52:59,022 --> 01:53:01,607
- Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
- And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
1899
01:53:01,775 --> 01:53:05,069
We just want to take a moment to talk
to you about snow blindness in cats.
1900
01:53:05,237 --> 01:53:07,530
It's affecting more and more cats
every year.
1901
01:53:07,698 --> 01:53:10,324
And it scares the living shit out of us.
1902
01:53:11,577 --> 01:53:14,370
Ninety-eight percent of us will die
at some point in our lives.
1903
01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:17,456
The darkness is creeping towards you,
whether you know it or not.
1904
01:53:17,624 --> 01:53:19,250
A little planning can go a long way.
1905
01:53:19,418 --> 01:53:21,419
Listen, leaving
your big old corpse behind...
1906
01:53:21,587 --> 01:53:23,713
...for your loved ones to deal with
ain't cool.
1907
01:53:23,881 --> 01:53:26,299
That's why you should call
McCreedy Funeral Service.
1908
01:53:26,592 --> 01:53:30,303
McCreedy's.
They'll find the hole and build the box.
1909
01:53:30,470 --> 01:53:33,890
Bodies that look so good,
you're gonna wanna talk to it.
1910
01:53:37,394 --> 01:53:39,729
We like to have a lot of laughs
on the racetrack...
1911
01:53:39,897 --> 01:53:42,190
...but today we wanna talk
about something serious:
1912
01:53:42,357 --> 01:53:46,569
Packs of stray dogs that control
most of the major cities.
1913
01:53:48,488 --> 01:53:52,533
That's packs of wild, vicious dogs
that are controlling most of...
1914
01:53:52,701 --> 01:53:53,701
Sorry.
1915
01:53:54,203 --> 01:53:57,246
I like to picture Jesus
like a mischievous badger.
1916
01:53:57,456 --> 01:53:59,498
Like a muscular trapeze artist.
1917
01:53:59,750 --> 01:54:03,085
Like a shapeshifter or a changeling,
like that guy.
1918
01:54:03,253 --> 01:54:04,962
You ever hear of
that TV show Manimal?
1919
01:54:05,172 --> 01:54:08,257
I like to think of Jesus
as a figure skater...
1920
01:54:08,425 --> 01:54:10,092
...who wears, like, a white outfit...
1921
01:54:10,260 --> 01:54:13,763
...and he does interpretive ice dances
of my life's journey.
1922
01:54:13,972 --> 01:54:15,932
Like a dirty old bum.
1923
01:54:16,099 --> 01:54:19,435
He comes up to me, I'm about to sock
him one because he's a dirty old bum.
1924
01:54:19,603 --> 01:54:22,063
Then I said, "Wait a minute,
I better not sock this guy.
1925
01:54:22,231 --> 01:54:23,522
Something special about him."
1926
01:54:23,732 --> 01:54:26,025
- Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus.
- Yeah.
1927
01:54:26,443 --> 01:54:28,611
One, two... Oh, God.
1928
01:54:28,779 --> 01:54:32,156
- Not again! No go. No go!
- It's stuck. It's stuck.
1929
01:54:32,616 --> 01:54:34,283
We got two knives in my leg.
1930
01:54:34,451 --> 01:54:37,787
I know, but one is a safety knife.
One is a safety.
1931
01:54:40,040 --> 01:54:41,499
It's coming out.
It's coming out.
1932
01:54:41,667 --> 01:54:43,125
I'm choking on my own spit.
1933
01:54:43,293 --> 01:54:45,920
It hurts so bad
I'm choking on my own spit.
1934
01:54:46,129 --> 01:54:48,547
Good night, guys.
I'm losing a lot of blood.
1935
01:54:48,715 --> 01:54:50,549
- Just relax, man.
- Good night.
1936
01:54:50,717 --> 01:54:53,302
Ricky! Wake--
1937
01:54:54,930 --> 01:54:59,976
Sometimes, when it's late at night,
I dress up like Donna Summers.
1938
01:55:00,143 --> 01:55:04,814
You know, I put on the skirt
and the four-inch heels, man.
1939
01:55:05,023 --> 01:55:06,399
I love it.
1940
01:55:16,076 --> 01:55:17,994
Sorry. Sorry.
1941
01:55:19,621 --> 01:55:22,832
I would be honored if you would
let me sign your cast.
1942
01:55:23,000 --> 01:55:25,584
And I would be honored
if you'd sign my balls.
1943
01:55:25,752 --> 01:55:28,254
- Oh, baby, that is a good one.
- Hey, what are you doing?
1944
02:00:45,655 --> 02:00:49,074
"Don't touch a one of them.
They're mine."
1945
02:00:51,661 --> 02:00:54,663
So, what do you think
that story was about?
1946
02:00:54,831 --> 02:00:57,666
Doesn't the bear symbolize
the old South...
1947
02:00:57,834 --> 02:01:01,962
...and the new dog, the encroaching
industrialization of the North?
1948
02:01:02,130 --> 02:01:07,051
Duh. But the question is, should
the reader feel relief or sadness...
1949
02:01:07,218 --> 02:01:08,844
...at the passing of the old South?
1950
02:01:09,012 --> 02:01:10,679
Well, how about both?
1951
02:01:10,847 --> 02:01:13,891
Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.
1952
02:01:14,059 --> 02:01:18,437
The hallmark of all early
20th-century American fiction.
1953
02:01:18,605 --> 02:01:21,523
- Great analysis, Walker.
- Thank you.